Home > QuotesQuotes by Dianna Booher, CSP, CPAE Hall of Fame
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“Communication
is the soul of management: analysis
and solid decisions translated into
clear messages that influence people
to act and feel good about their performance.”
—From Communicate
with Confidence®
“Communication is a life-or-death
matter. … Ask lawyers, engineers,
system analysts, or secretaries which
creates the most frustration and failure—the
technical art of their job or dealing
with people—and they’ll
agree on the latter. Samson of biblical
fame killed 10,000 Philistines with
the jawbone of an ass. Similar destruction
occurs on a daily basis with the same
weapon.”
—From Communicate
with Confidence®
“Emotional connection gives
people ears to hear what disconnected
minds might not.”
—From
The Esther Effect: The Seven Secrets
of Self-Confidence and Influence
“Listening is the shortest
route to the heart.”
—From The
Esther Effect: The Seven Secrets of
Self-Confidence and Influence
“A conversation here. A conversation
there. A meal. A trip. A visit. A
problem faced. A struggle overcome.
A success shared. Little by little,
friendship grows.”
—From Fresh-Cut
Flowers for a Friend
“When you listen first and
then speak your heart with clarity
and courtesy, you can lead others
to change attitudes, behaviors, and
situations.”
—From The
Esther Effect: The Seven Secrets of
Self-Confidence and Influence
“Communication skills in our
everyday lives and relationships create
the difference between misery and
defeat or success and satisfaction.”
—From Communicate
with Confidence®
“Smart women learn to say their
no’s with grace rather than
gravel.”
—From Ten
Smart Moves for Women Who Want to
Succeed in Love and Life
“Don’t hide behind your
words to avoid hearing the message.”
—From Communicate
with Confidence®
“Many people now pay a therapist
for what a friend used to do—listen.”
—From Ten
Smart Moves for Women Who Want to
Succeed in Love and Life
“Ongoing conflict is like a
simmering pot of water. You’re
ready to boil over at the slightest
provocation.”
—From Get
a Life: How to Find Time for the Important
Things in Life
“Check for the hidden agenda
before you bite, hook, line, and sinker.”
—From Communicate
with Confidence®
“There comes a time when rage
must run into resolution.”
—From Ten
Smart Moves for Women Who Want to
Succeed in Love and Life
“Measure your relationship
with others by the kind of conversation
they share with you.”
—From Communicate
with Confidence®
“Think of negative feedback
as a gift, not a gripe.”
—From Ten
Smart Moves for Women Who Want to
Succeed in Love and Life
“Filter questions and feedback
go hand in hand. Your mission is to
sift the reflective from the flaky.”
—From Ten
Smart Moves for Women Who Want to
Succeed in Love and Life
“Credibility is a by-product
of appearance and grooming.”
—From Ten
Smart Moves for Women Who Want to
Succeed in Love and Life
“Small talk means having a
little loose change in your pocket.
Like quarters at a pay phone, dimes
at a gum dispenser, or dollars at
a toll booth, it’ll come in
handy when you least expect it. When
it comes to small talk, know when
to jiggle it, spend it, or save it.”
—From Communicate
with Confidence®
“Meetings can bring the world
to peace—or kill 15 hours a
week for even the best time manager.”
—From Communicate
with Confidence®
“Be wary of listening for what
you don’t want to hear.”
—From Communicate
with Confidence®
“Don’t bomb when a BB
gun will do.”
—From Communicate
with Confidence®
“An apology or acceptance of
an apology can be the glue that makes
teams work, makes managers productive
after a mistake, and enables leaders
to get up after they’ve fallen.”
—From Communicate
with Confidence®
“Most people enjoy giving advice.
Heartfelt advice about issues of vital
concern ooze out like so much salve
in a tightly compressed tube. The
difficulty comes in determining if
the person wants to be healed, anointing
the right sore spot, making sure the
medication is appropriate to the problem,
and recapping the lid after the initial
diagnosis and treatment.”
—From Communicate
with Confidence®
“The person with no conflict
on the job or at home should be mounted
and sold by Neiman Marcus in its one-of-a-kind
gift catalog. Conflict can result
from excellent work or poor work,
from good intentions or evil intentions,
from appropriate behavior or inappropriate
behavior, from praise or insult.”
—From Communicate
with Confidence®
“Accepting praise can be as
difficult as accepting a gift. You
wouldn’t want to insult others
by not accepting their praise.”
—From Communicate
with Confidence®
“Nagging has never worked.
Otherwise, those hearing it wouldn’t
have labeled it ‘nagging’;
they would have called it “reminding.”
Perspective marks the difference between
the two—speaker or listener.
If you’re to the point of nagging
(in the other person’s point
of view), the listener has tuned out.
It’s time to rewrite the script
because the other person is no longer
picking up the message.”
—From Your
Signature Life®
“Conversations, in general,
are sometimes like Capote’s
faction—a mixture of truth and
fiction. That is, after they’re
over, everybody has a different viewpoint
on exactly what was said. When you’re
discussing serious, sensitive issues,
generally everybody has a viewpoint.
It’s only natural to see your
own viewpoints, conclusions, and interpretations
as factual or valid and those of the
other person as opinion and invalid.
The real ‘truth’ typically
falls somewhere in the middle.”
—From Your
Signature Life®
“I’ve lost more sleep
over words than from any illness,
work, or obligation in my life. Words
that I wish I’d said and didn’t.
Words that I’ve said and wished
I hadn’t. Words that others
have said to me that cut deep. Words
that others didn’t say to me
that still managed to leave a hole
in my psyche. Words that rolled off
my tongue too quickly. Words that
I swallowed and held onto too long.
Words can change our lives forever.”
—From The
Worth of a Woman’s Words
“Our challenge as individuals
remains to write or speak lasting
legacies to those we love.”
—From The
Worth of a Woman’s Words
“Whether watching
TV, the computer screen, or hard copy,
the mindset is the same: Have remote,
will surf.” Your job as a writer
is to make that kind of reading possible
by presenting your most important information
upfront and leaving to readers how much
or how little detail they want.”
—From E-Writing:
21st-Century Tools for Effective Communication
“With many writers, the first
and final drafts are, unfortunately,
the same. But to most professional
writers, real writing is rewriting.”
—From E-Writing:
21st-Century Tools for Effective Communication
“The trend in today's e-commerce
falls between the two extremes: stuffed-shirt
writing and t-shirt writing. Like
our work clothes, the preferred writing
style has become business casual.
And just as the business casual dress
code has some people stumped, so has
the business casual writing style.”
—From E-Writing:
21st-Century Tools for Effective Communication
“Collectively, email and the
Internet have become the biggest boon
to our productivity—and bane
to our sanity. Email alone has added
an extra hour or two to our work day,
cluttered our minds with trivia, tempted
us to “talk” about everybody’s
business but our own, tried our patience
in attempting to unravel stream-of-consciousness
prose to come to a decision or take
action, cost hours in patching up
rifts caused by political minefields,
added guilt-induced stress about the
still “to be read” list
popping onto our screen minute by
minute—and threatened to serve
as fodder for lawsuits in corporate
embarrassments.”
—From E-Writing:
21st-Century Tools for Effective Communication
“Effective business or technical
writing requires training; success
comes by method, not chance.”
—From E-Writing:
21st-Century Tools for Effective Communication
“Many reports, letters, or
emails are poorly written because
writers do their thinking on paper.
They have not considered a total project
or body of data, interpreted it, and
tailored it to the reader's purpose.
Often the first few paragraphs or
first few pages constitute a warm-up
drill. Writers pour out everything
on the paper and then come to a conclusion
while writing through the details.
Or worse still, the authors never
come to a conclusion but rather leave
the conclusion and interpretations
up to the readers.”
—From E-Writing:
21st-Century Tools for Effective Communication
“The most difficult part of
writing is getting a handle on the
project. Every time I tackle a new
book, I feel as if I'm looking at
a flopping catfish at the end of a
fishing line. The fish just hangs
there, flopping back and forth, daring
me to catch and unhook it without
getting finned. Hovering in exactly
the right position, I have to pin
the fins firmly to its side before
working the hook out of its mouth
and feeling it's all mine. So it is
with writing. A well-written e-mail,
letter, report, proposal, or manual
brings great satisfaction, but the
process is usually the pain.”
—From E-Writing:
21st-Century Tools for Effective Communication
“People have grown accustomed
to venting their spleen on the screen.
Writers sometimes forget that they’re
communicating with real people in
front of the computer screen. Lurking
in chat rooms also fortifies writers
with the feeling of anonymity. Flaming,
the practice of sending hostile e-mail
to those who irritate, also fosters
a sense of protection across the distance.
Tact doesn’t even enter the
sender’s thought process. This
feeling of anonymity sometimes spills
over into online writing to coworkers
and customers. The tone is often too
blunt, too brusque, or too negative.”
—From E-Writing:
21st-Century Tools for Effective Communication
“Presence may
be difficult to define, but it is easy
to spot. Most people know it when they
see it. It is a manner of moving and
interacting that commands attention
and creates confidence in the speaker
and increases credibility for the content.”
—From Speak
with Confidence: Powerful Presentations
That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Be aware that gestures and
mannerism either support or sabotage
what you say.”
—From Speak
with Confidence: Powerful Presentations
That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Passing on information is
not the problem. The problem is turning
information into communication. Sitting
through boring meeting after boring
meeting while somebody stands to the
left of a computer screen and narrates
a slideshow in a darkened room just
does not make the grade anymore—if
it ever did. Connecting with an audience
to push them to action or to a decision
takes a very different mindset and
skill than doling out data.”
—From Speak
with Confidence: Powerful Presentations
That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“End with a wallop, not a whimper.”
—From Speak
with Confidence: Powerful Presentations
That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Stories and punch-lines pack
power. Humor anchors key points. Humor
makes your message memorable.”
—From Speak
with Confidence: Powerful Presentations
That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“The longer the story, the
funnier the punch-line needs to be.”
—From Speak
with Confidence: Powerful Presentations
That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Visuals can add glitz, glamour,
or garbage.”
—From Speak
with Confidence: Powerful Presentations
That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Sometimes professionals speaking
before specific groups in the course
of their jobs fail to take a situation
and shape it into a clear message
with a specific purpose for a specific
audience. They take the same slide
deck of information and dole it out
to whoever asks for an update—any
day for any reason.”
—From Speak
with Confidence: Powerful Presentations
That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Connections create credibility.
To put it simply, people are much
more apt to believe you if they like
you.”
—From Speak
with Confidence: Powerful Presentations
That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Don’t be afraid to show
enthusiasm for your subject. “I’m
excited about being here today”
says good things to an audience. It
generally means that you are confident,
you have something of value to say,
and you are prepared to state your
case clearly. Boredom is contagious.
Audiences get it from speakers who
resist being “too emotional”
about their ideas and the outcome
of their presentation.”
—From Speak
with Confidence: Powerful Presentations
That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Few people have all the answers.
Even when you have all the information
as a presenter, audience members typically
like to separate the substantiated
facts from the sermonizing.”
—From Speak
with Confidence: Powerful Presentations
That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“People interact with their
computers, DVDs, TVs, cell phones,
home security systems, ATMs, and airline
check-in systems. Team members give
360-degree feedback to their peers
and supervisors. They send suggestions
to the senior executives by e-mail.
Suppliers survey clients to ask, “How
are we doing?” So when it comes
to presentations, audiences assume
that you will build in a two-way dialogue
and interactivity—that you will
not simply provide an information
dump and walk away, thinking you have
communicated and achieved your objective.”
—From Speak
with Confidence: Powerful Presentations
That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Nobody ever thinks that bad
things will happen to good presenters.
Big mistake.”
—From Speak
with Confidence: Powerful Presentations
That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“A good emcee functions much
like a home page for a Web site. The
emcee greets the audience members,
grabs their attention, overviews succinctly
what the program is all about, establishes
credentials, serves as the thread
of continuity, provides transitions
between extended presentations, and
sums up with sponsor and contact information,
along with the appropriate “thank
you’s.” In short, being
a master of ceremonies takes skill
and preparation.”
—From Speak
with Confidence: Powerful Presentations
That Persuade, Inform, and Inspire
“Prospect deep,
not shallow. Don’t jump to the
erroneous conclusion that every “no”
gets you closer to a “yes.”
That’s true only in theory, not
in reality. If you build a shallow prospect
list—with the quickest, easiest
contacts to find—you may be spending
your time calling all the wrong people
—the shallow fish—and getting
more than your fair share of no’s.
Instead, it’s typically worthwhile
to spend more time creating a deeper,
better prospect list from the start.
This way, it takes fewer calls to get
you to each yes.”
—From From
Contact to Contract
“Treat
gatekeepers like gold mines. A demanding
tone sets the gatekeeper in motion—usually
against you.”
—From From
Contact to Contract
“View prospecting as a game
you must win to help customers who
want to be found in the maze.”
—From From
Contact to Contract
“Become the project manager
of the sale.”
—From From
Contact to Contract
“Never rationalize that the
purpose of your call is ‘to
stay in touch.’”
—From From
Contact to Contract
“Listen between the lines for
what’s said, what’s not
said, and what can’t be said.”
—From From
Contact to Contract
“Think, act, listen large.”
—From From
Contact to Contract
“Guard against turning a sales
conversation into a sales presentation.”
—From From
Contact to Contract
“Never sacrifice the client
for the sale.”
—From From
Contact to Contract
“Never just walk through your
proposal. Give a guided tour.”
—From From
Contact to Contract
“It is generally
not the boring routine that causes burnout,
but the absence of passion and purpose.”
—From Ten
Smart Moves from Women Who Want to Succeed
in Love and Life
“Work
– enjoyable and rewarding, or
boring and disturbing – can
be addictive.”
—From Ten
Smart Moves from Women Who Want to
Succeed in Love and Life
“Like painting a portrait,
writing a blockbuster, or building
a house, building a life comes much
easier when you tackle it as a unified
project: growing your character while
you’re on the job, strengthening
relationships and influencing others
while you work in the community, becoming
a better mother as you struggle with
an ethical dilemma your committee
faces, building a closer friendship
as you work through a job difficulty
with your boss or client, serving
God through the opportunities you
gain from recognition at work. Self.
Relationships. Work. Parts of one
integrated, balanced life. As you
work on creating this masterpiece
called your life, you’ll want
to be able to say you’ve done
your personal best so that you can
sign your name to what you have lived.”
—From Your
Signature Life®
“Negative people have a way
of drenching your whole office or
home in a downpour. They drain your
energy and your time and break your
concentration on the important things.”
—From Get
a Life: How to Find Time for the Important
Things in Life
“You do become the artist who
paints your own portrait from the
inside out—your character. You
paint it habit by habit, day by day,
line by line, shadow upon shadow.
Each conversation you have adds its
own color to the canvas. Each dilemma
carves a new dimension. Every decision
creates new depth. Failures and successes
give perspective. Over time, each
trait blends into the final character
profile.”
—From Your
Signature Life®
“The canvas is yours. Your
character is ready for your creation.
It will be your most priceless possession.
You have final say about what goes
into it. After you’ve completed
it, no one can destroy it or alter
it. Once you sign your name to it
and leave your earthly studio, you
will always be remembered by this
final, distinctive work of art.”
—From Your
Signature Life®
“I’d rather hold God’s
hand in the crowded highway of humanity
than float along alone in complete
freedom and chance stumbling to the
ground and getting trampled by the
traffic. Genuine faith is reassuring
and enduring.”
—From Your
Signature Life®
“As you build your dream career
or do volunteer work, understand that
the process can be wearing at times,
but the payoff is powerful if you
keep your work in perspective. Don’t
let your work define you; instead,
let it refine you. Take ownership
of it. Be accountable for it. Sign
it with excellence.”
—From Your
Signature Life®
“When building Your Signature
Work, understand that some parts of
the structure may not be what they
photograph for the Lifestyle section
of the Sunday newspaper. Nevertheless,
those parts—the door hinges,
the electrical system, the rafters,
or the water faucets—prove essential
just the same. When you’re working
as if God were your customer or your
coworker, service makes sense and
provides satisfaction on a deeper
level. When you’re faced with
doing the mundane, value the here
and now as well as the there and forever.
Focus on the why, not on the what.”
—From Your
Signature Life®
“Your Own Signature Life is
a work in progress. You may be discouraged
by the difference between your vision
of your finished masterpiece and the
work you’ve completed thus far.
But don’t dwell on your failures,
unrefined skills, or undeveloped themes.
Instead, focus on the time remaining,
character still to be shaped, the
scenes still to be created, the design
still to be modified, and the building
still to be done. When your masterpiece
is completed, sign it with care. God
will be the final appraiser.”
—From Your
Signature Life®
“Our philosophies about time,
aging, success, immortality, marinated
mushrooms, and the day-to-day hustle
show up in different ways in our lives.
Our thoughts about time affect everything
we do—our relationships, our
work, our successes. To be more specific,
our concept of time determines whether
we work late or go home to the kids.
Eat instant oatmeal or cook an omelet.
Wallpaper the closet or leave the
shelves unfinished. Arrive early or
late. Have surgery or accept the wrinkles.
Cry or laugh. Ignore or help. Despair
or hope. How we allocate our minutes
each day profoundly affects our career
success, our charitable work, the
quality of our personal lives, and
the gift of ourselves that we leave
behind for friends and family.”
—From Get
a Life: How to Find Time for the Important
Things in Life
“Many people confuse the exhilaration
of the speed of the journey with the
satisfaction upon arrival.”
—From Get
a Life: How to Find Time for the Important
Things in Life
“To reduce stress, set your
inner engine at a lower idling speed.
When you catch yourself racing with
your mind in overdrive, ask why.”
—From Get
a Life: How to Find Time for the Important
Things in Life
“Piddling on purpose is fine.
That can be restful. But piddling
when you think you’re busy is
self-delusion.”
—From Get
a Life: How to Find Time for the Important
Things in Life
“One thing completed is worth
ten things on hold.”
—From Get
a Life: How to Find Time for the Important
Things in Life
"What we believe we can control,
we often can’t. And what we
believe we cannot control, we often
can. Power comes in knowing the difference.”
—From Get
a Life: How to Find Time for the Important
Things in Life
“Awareness and gratitude can
make life’s predicament more
palatable.”
—From Get
a Life: How to Find Time for the Important
Things in Life
“When you’re feeling
down, get away from everything that’s
artificial and open your senses. Touch
a tree. Roll in the grass. Smell the
rain. Watch the sunrise. Pet a dog.
Hear the crickets. Walk in the sunlight.
Shuffle in the snow. Face the wind.”
—From Get
a Life: How to Find Time for the Important
Things in Life
“Reflection and solitude feed
the soul.”
—From Get
a Life: How to Find Time for the Important
Things in Life
“Winning or losing,
bounty or bankruptcy is not the point.
Doing the right thing is.”
—From Ten
Smart Moves from Women Who Want to Succeed
in Love and Life
“Nothing
proves more crucial to the way your
life story unfolds than the relationships
you build along the way. And the essence
of all your relationships is your
conversations running end to end,
from the first to the final scene.
Listen willingly. Interpret perceptively.
Speak honestly. Phrase lovingly. Position
positively. Edit carefully. “
—From Your
Signature Life®
“You need to create chemistry
so that you and your other “cast
members” get along on the set
before a crisis occurs. Work to build
strong bonds. Then on days of torrential
downpours, the rains won’t affect
the turnout at your box office.”
—From Your
Signature Life®
“As you build Your Signature
Work, the biggest trap to avoid is
falling into the murkiness of mediocrity
where the masses spend their time.
If your work habits tend to short
out, your clout and influence will
grow dim. But if your efforts reflect
excellence, your results will shine.”
—From Your
Signature Life®
“Most reasoned risks are not
irreversible.”
—From Get
a Life: How to Find Time for the Important
Things in Life
“A friendship gives definition
to that old phrase ‘the good
life.’”
—From Fresh-Cut
Flowers for a Friend
“Your character influences
others far more than your clever words,
wealth, or wisdom ever could.”
—From The
Esther Effect: The Seven Secrets of
Self-Confidence and Influence
“In today’s culture,
some people think moral responsibility
means picking up their munchies mess
at the movies.”
—From The
Esther Effect: The Seven Secrets of
Self-Confidence and Influence
“Friends don’t have to
say hello or goodbye. Like a neighbor
who pops in to borrow a cup of sugar,
you can pop back into my life in a
day or a year and it’s as though
we’ve never missed a beat.”
—From Fresh-Cut
Flowers for a Friend
“Smart people create their
own name badge.”
—From Ten
Smart Moves from Women Who Want to
Succeed in Love and Life
“When it comes to marriage,
smart people set up a partnership,
not a holding company.”
—From Ten
Smart Moves from Women Who Want to
Succeed in Love and Life
“Instead of working to earn
something, work to become something.
Work to become fulfilled. Work to
become useful to others. Work to reflect
God’s character on earth. The
ideal job rarely exists in reality.
But you can build Your Signature Work
on a vacant lot very close to it.”
—From Your
Signature Life®
“Smart women use passion to
propel them toward their goals.”
—From Ten
Smart Moves from Women Who Want to
Succeed in Love and Life
“The Esther Effect is the impact
you have when God places you in a
situation in which you can encourage
or influence others or change the
course of events.”
—From The
Esther Effect: The Seven Secrets of
Self-Confidence and Influence
“A goal should feel like a
guide, not a gun to your head!”
—From Ten
Smart Moves from Women Who Want to
Succeed in Love and Life
“Smart women decide things
by design, not default.”
—From Ten
Smart Moves from Women Who Want to
Succeed in Love and Life
“Sometimes not to take a risk
can be the biggest risk of all.”
—From Ten
Smart Moves from Women Who Want to
Succeed in Love and Life
“Smart women make sure their
success rests on pillars rather than
platforms—multiple pillars of
self-esteem; multiple sources of relationships,
activities, and accomplishments that
support them.”
—From Ten
Smart Moves from Women Who Want to
Succeed in Love and Life
“Smart women master their moods.
That is, they live by direction, decision,
and determination rather than whim….If
you don’t master your moods,
they’ll muddle your mind.”
—From Ten
Smart Moves from Women Who Want to
Succeed in Love and Life
“Those that hang out, hang
in, and hang on—these are your
most valuable friendships.”
—From Ten
Smart Moves from Women Who Want to
Succeed in Love and Life
“Forgiveness allows flexibility
of the heart when the head says it
can take no more.”
—From Ten
Smart Moves from Women Who Want to
Succeed in Love and Life
“Injustice feels like an itch
you can’t scratch.”
—From The
Esther Effect: The Seven Secrets of
Self-Confidence and Influence
“A friend reads between the
lines when you’re not being
transparent.”
—From Fresh-Cut
Flowers for a Friend
“Friends make you laugh—even
when life is far from funny.”
—From Fresh-Cut
Flowers for a Friend
“True friendship is not measured
in days or decades.”
—From Fresh-Cut
Flowers for a Friend
“Friends don’t simmer
with sympathy over my weaknesses;
they summon my strengths.”
—From Fresh-Cut
Flowers for a Friend
“Friends show courtesy…
They do not impose. They ask first.
They listen quietly. They stay late.
They arrive early. They help without
being asked. They make time.”
—From Fresh-Cut
Flowers for a Friend
