Booher BanterYour Resource for the best ideas to improve communications skills.

Customers communicate dissatisfaction—one way or the other. You’ll generally come out ahead if they tell the problem to you directly rather than to the rest of the world. Here’s what happened to United Airlines when they ignored Dave Carroll’s efforts to communicate the problem about his damaged guitar.

On the other hand, here’s what happens when clients and suppliers communicate:

We’ve had a vacancy in our office building for almost a year. Yet our cleaning service has been charging the same price for cleaning the entire building despite having no tenant in half the office space. In past years, they’ve declined to lower the price, saying it was an “all or nothing” contract for the entire building. Today, I communicated my intention to either get the price lowered for cleaning less space or shop the contract to other bidders. The supplier was immediately willing to renegotiate the price. He kept the contract. We kept a good supplier.

Customers talk—either to you or the rest of the world. Which will it be? And what will they say?

Posted at 10:12am in Communication—Sales, General Communication, Social Media Communication | Permalink | Add Comment » |

My friend Dennis asked me to speak to his class of graduate students at a local university this week on the topic of business communication. It’s not like I’m looking for places to speak, being on an airplane far more days than I care to count. But I hadn’t seen the friend in a while, nor had I been in a college classroom in X@#& years, so I decided to see what these graduate students had on their minds.

I spoke. They asked questions. We had a great discussion. They had nice things to say afterward. I left.

The next day, I get an email from Dennis thanking me again and passing along more of the comments from his students about my session. But one summary comment from my friend really caught my attention:  “My students were really blown away by the fact that you used so few visuals in the entire hour–and they were all photos! No bullet points. They were amazed at how engaged they were.”

He went on to explain that in his Mass Communication class he had already had a difficult time trying to wean them away from the overuse of slides with heavy text. Why am I not surprised? Bad habits are contagious. Most of these grad students have already entered the workforce. They see slide slush from their colleagues daily.

So why are many people tempted to use slides when they don’t need them?

1. Slides become the presenter’s notes. If you need slides to keep you on track, you’re not properly prepared. Outline, yes. But a keyword outline will do the trick nicely–and much quicker. Glance at a word to bring a “chunk” of information to mind. Then elaborate. But don’t build a boring slideshow when a word will trigger your memory.
2. Slides help your audience to follow your presentation. If listeners can’t grasp your key points, then either 1) your presentation isn’t arranged well or 2) your talk isn’t engaging or 3) you need better transitions and summary statements.
3. Slides add pizazz. True. But so does an earthquake, or a fire alarm, or a magic act. You need impact for your point. If the slide adds to the understanding, learning, or retention, use it. But if the slide only calls attention to itself rather than the message, drop it.

With all the leftover time not spent on building slideshows, you can always do more research on your topic or practice your delivery–an engaging effort.

Posted at 10:05am in Communication—Oral | Permalink | Add Comment » |

Levi Johntson must have texted a powerful apology to Bristol Palin.  After going on TV and talk radio across the country for the past 18 months to bad-mouth her family, that apology sealed him his engagement—and, according to some media rumors, an upcoming reality TV show.

Whatever.

My point? Situations calling for a public apology come and go about once a month. Some rock star, athlete, or politician gets caught shoplifting, driving drunk, doing drugs, having an affair, taking a bribe, or uttering embarrassing comments over an open microphone, and the public becomes outraged. The public persona and principles preached don’t match the private behavior.

What further enrages us about such situations is that typically the celebrity involved first takes the stance:  “It’s none of your business.” When that line doesn’t work, he or she tries to make excuses, “I was drunk/stoned/conned/didn’t know that blah, blah, blah …” fill in the blanks. When those excuses don’t calm the waters, they finally come out with a belated apology.  Life goes back to normal. We once again buy their music, see their movies, go to their ball games, or elect them to office.

There’s only one exception to this rule:  If the celebrity tries to offer a pseudo-apology, one with no real admission of wrongdoing. When that’s the case, the media and public chew on the story until the celebrity spits out an honest admission of guilt. Only then does life resume for the wronged and the harangued.

Ditto at the office. People have difficulty offering an outright apology—an expression of “I’m concerned because I made a mistake/I did something wrong.” And they get the same kind of reaction as celebrities do to their pseudo-apologies.

Recognize any of these non-apologies?

Denial

“No, I didn’t email the meeting agenda to everyone ahead of time.  I apologize—I didn’t know I was supposed to do that.”

Translation:  “I’m not at fault here.  Whoever was in charge of telling me to do that messed up—not me.” 

Good Intentions

“I’ve been putting out fires all morning ever since I came in at 6:30, but I won’t bore you with the details.  So I apologize that I didn’t email the meeting agenda to everyone ahead of time.”

Translation: “ Give me credit for good intentions. Besides that, I’m busier than most of you.”

Excuse

“I apologize for not emailing the meeting agenda to everyone ahead of time. It’s just been my experience that nobody ever looks at them ahead of time anyway.”

Translation:   “There’s no need to apologize.”

Sympathy

“I apologize for not emailing the meeting agenda to everyone. I told several of you about how my weekends have been going, so I hope you understand.”

Translation:   “Cut me some slack.  I have personal problems.

Attack

“Well, I apologize for not emailing the meeting agenda to everyone ahead of time. Bill, Jean—did you have something you were particularly interested in having on there? Was there something you’re not prepared to discuss because you didn’t see this ahead of time? If so, we can postpone the meeting and reconvene tomorrow when you’re more prepared.”

Translation:   “You are making a big deal out of nothing. Why are you trying to embarrass me? I can make you feel very small for bringing this up. So just leave me alone.”

So What Makes a Good Apology? 

• Admission of error, guilt, or wrongdoing:   Accept responsibility for what was said or done and its inappropriateness, inaccuracy, weakness, hurtfulness, insensitivity, or whatever.
• Specificity:    Global, blanket apologies sound insincere.  Express concern for the damage or hurt you caused and your understanding of the situation.
• Amends:   Attempt to make things right with some word or gesture of goodwill toward the offended person or group.

Apologies don’t always end in engagements or reality TV shows—but they can mend a relationship or save a sale.

Posted at 8:40am in Communication—Interpersonal | Permalink | Add Comment » |

While working at home recently, my internet connection went down. During the call to tech support to check out whether it was a coaxial cable problem or a router issue (how’s that for tech talk?), the technician asked me, “Can you tell me how many green lights are blinking on the router?”

That I could do:  “Four.”

“Awesome,” he said. “Can you tell me which ones?”

“The first one. The third one. The fifth one. And the sixth one.”

“Fantastic!” he said. “Okay. Can you tell me how many cables are coming out of the back, and is it plugged in?”

“Three. The black power cord. Another short black cable labeled the coaxial cable. And a white cable.”

“Awesome! Now we’re rolling.”

At this point, with such accolades for my acute observations and reporting, I felt ready to do brain surgery.

Obviously, I’m not the only one who has become amused by the growing use of hyperbole. A reader wrote me recently:

Hello, Dianna,

Thank you very much for your powerful essay on communication in Leadership Excellence. My students and I are benefitting from it tremendously. Your counsel is spot on.

May I suggest an eleventh C?  Be cool, calm, and collected.  Not that we should purge our passions and become inhuman icebergs, but we need to watch out for exaggeration that undermines the legitimacy of our message.  Too many of today’s rising generation live in a world of hyperbole that hinders our understanding of what they have to offer.

Perhaps you covered that in “Be Credible,” but it may bear a bit of further amplification.

All the best,

Gordon F. Holbein, Ph.D.
Senior Lecturer
Strategy & Leadership
The University of Kentucky

Now it’s Dr. Holbein who’s spot on. Even positive, upbeat language can ring hollow when exaggerated for the situation. 

When I’m ninety four and can still troubleshoot my own internet connection problems, I may appreciate an “awesome” at counting four green blinking lights. But not just yet.

Posted at 8:17am in General Communication | Permalink | Add Comment » |