Booher BanterBusiness Communication Consultant

Souza/The White House

President Obama and General Stanley McChrystal’s meeting of the minds today will affect the security of our nation and the world. During the past two days while the general traveled back for his meeting at the Oval Office, the pundits debated the pros and cons of whether the general should resign or stay put. 

But I couldn’t help but focus on one thing:  We’re between the proverbial rock and hard place all because of words:  McChrystal and his aides failed to consider them carefully.

What did they say? Who did they say it to? Why? And to what end?

McChrystal’s not singing a solo.  Should I start with a laundry list of leaders who’ve had a lapse of the lips recently?

There was the Chairman of BP referring to the victims of the oil spill as “the small people.” And Tony Hayward, CEO of BP, publically bemoaned the fact that he “wanted his life back,” having had the crisis intrude on his time.

There was Vice President Biden and his comment to the President on the day he signed the healthcare bill into law.  “This is a f—ing big deal,” right into the open microphone. 

Then there was former governor Rod Blagojevich blowing off steam with these recorded comments that helped get him impeached for trying to sell the vacated senate seat in Illinois:  “I’ve got this thing, and it’s [expletive] golden. And I’m just not giving it up for [expletive] nothing. I’m not going to do it. And I can always use it….”

Earlier, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford took off to Argentina to see his mistress without letting anyone know of his whereabouts for several days. First, there was the lie that he was “hiking in the Ozarks.” Then when he returned, he persisted in the attitude of “no big deal.” Then it was the nonsensical, rambling apology.

Being a communication specialist, when I hear of such gaffes, I always scratch my head and wonder, “WHAT were they thinking?” Most follow up with apologies or “clarifications,” of course, but those efforts rarely minimize the damage.

I routinely work with executives who would never say or do such odd, stupid, or inappropriate things. What happens to the few to trigger such lapses of either judgment or character? As an executive coach, researcher, and author of more than 22 books on communication, I’ll give you my best guesses:

• They forget that there’s no such thing as “off the record.”
• They let down their guard when they feel comfortable around a trusted insider—or a gang of them.
• Maintaining a “public” persona and a private one becomes increasingly difficult.  Attitude, feelings, and character eventually burst through.
• They find it difficult, if not impossible, to fake body language. When the words and the body language contradict, listeners believe the body language and pounce and probe until they see blood.

So where do we go from here? As important as Afghanistan remains to our security, it’s only the current crisis. Communication gaffes will continue to handicap those leaders who do not understand the import of their every word and action. 

Communication makes leadership possible—or impossible, as the case may be.

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