Is Bad Grammar Ruining Your Love Life?
Have you ever “dismissed” someone because of their grammar? For example, on a social networking site, have you ever read through someone’s profile and noticed errors like who’s for whose and employee’s for employees or sentences that continued for seven lines without a period? Seeing so many errors, have you ever clicked away, deciding that maybe a relationship wasn’t in your future?
I’m not talking about an informal style: Intentional fragments. Contractions. Colloquial phrases. Those are all matters of style—and very appropriate for informal exchanges, like instant messaging. I’m not even talking about an occasional mistake or typo. We all make careless errors. I’m referring to obviously unintentional misspellings, convoluted sentences that leave you scratching your head about meaning, and misused words that make you cringe.
If poor grammar turns you off, I’d like to hear from you.
McGraw-Hill is preparing to launch my new book in November (Booher’s Rules of Business Grammar: 101 Fast and Easy Ways to Correct the Most Common Errors), and I’m currently collecting stories (humorous or sad—depending on your point of view) in which someone’s grammar skills were a big turn-off in a social setting or relationship.
My specific question to you is this: Have you ever decided not to begin a dating relationship, to break off a relationship, or to hide a friendship or romantic involvement from other friends or work colleagues because of someone’s poor grammar?
Would you help me out by sharing your story?
I’d like to use these (anonymously, of course) in my media campaign when reporters call. Thanks so much for helping me raise awareness about the link between language and image—social or professional! As always, I appreciate your input.
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Although I’m a little ashamed to admit it, “bad grammar” has always been high on my list of “Can’t Haves” in a romantic relationship. (“Can’t Haves ala Neil Clark Warren’s “Date…or Soul Mate?”)
When I was in my early 20′s, I was in love with a guy who was “grammatically challenged.” His most serious “violation” was that he said “ain’t” frequently. I tried to be understanding but it drove me crazy!
(I know it is a bit more acceptable these days but I still have problems with the word).
I finally realized that I just couldn’t date someone who couldn’t speak the English language.
Of course, that wasn’t the ONLY reason I ended the relationship, but it was certainly in the top 10 reasons, maybe even the top 5.
I didn’t want to spend my life functioning as a “grammar policeman” with a person I’d rather be admiring as much as possible (versus criticizing).
Having realized how important good grammar was for me, I was then much more careful in the early stages of a relationship. I actually would stop seeing someone if, after a couple of dates, it was clear bad grammar was an issue.
I feel a bit shallow and like a bit of a “grammar snob” but I know this was a big deal for me.
Good luck on your new book!