Bad Grammar—Who Me?
Bad grammar is like bad breath—even your best friends won’t tell you.
A reader recently wrote me:
“A member of my team really struggles with grammar when he verbally communicates. What’s weird is his writing skills are okay. Also, he talks in a monotone. I’ve coached him on adding a little vocal variety when he gives presentations. But I’m not sure how to approach him on the grammar issue without offending him. Any suggestions?”
Karen
Just one more example that proves the point I’ve been making for the past two decades: you’re on your own to correct deficiencies in grammar skills.
Frankly, I don’t know why that’s the case. It just is. This manager is right to have concerns about how to approach someone on a grammar issue without offending. In our own consulting work with organizations in the area of business, technical, or proposal writing, we can point out to an author that her report seems disorganized, and she’ll agree. We can point out that an email contains extraneous details, and the writer will delete the rambling prose. We can explain to a sales professional that his proposal has no apparent strategy and needs one, and he’ll thank us!
But tell an author that his document has grammatical errors throughout, and he blushes and stalks away as if you’ve just insulted his mother.
Some people tend to perceive their grammar as a very personal thing—almost like their hair style, clothes, or home décor. Others feel threatened with a comment about their grammar because they view proper usage as a skill they should have learned along with their multiplication tables back in elementary school.
For the most part, through my consulting experience, I’ve discovered that people may feel either insulted, embarrassed, or overwhelmed—but rarely grateful—when you point out grammatical mistakes.
But that doesn’t lessen the need to do so. Parents correct their children’s behavior every week—no matter how they feel about it. They care enough to overlook the embarrassment. Their concern is for the child’s well-being, safety, or future success in life. Friends take the same stand and risks when it comes to giving feedback to best friends. Managers often do the same for those they mentor.
That said, Karen, if you’re still up for the task, here are a few suggestions for you and others who may be in similar situations:
- Don’t expect gratitude. You may even want to “test the waters” first. Example: “I’ve noticed a few things in your writing that I may be able to help you with—things that may be holding you back and may be creating a negative image. If you’re interested and have a document ready to go out, I’d be happy to go over it with you.”
- Point out that many very smart, competent people have difficulty with grammar, and that language and grammar can be very complex subjects.
- Be prepared to state the applicable grammar rule. Those who are weak in grammar will assume your corrections and explanations are a matter of “style” and “preference.”
- Link proper grammar to clarity.
Another approach, of course, is to say nothing, but instead simply to correct the team member’s errors and return the document to them so that they can see the marked edits.
The goal would be for them to realize the need for help and ask for explanations about the changes or find other resources on their own.
If others of you readers have dealt successfully with a situation similar to Karen’s, please feel free to share how you handled the situation.



