Booher BanterYour Resource for the best ideas to improve communications skills.

Have you ever lain awake at night—almost all night—and replayed a conversation in your head over and over and over and over? For a long while, I thought I was the only one who did that. Then I heard other women admit they did it, too. Then yesterday I heard a male doctor friend of mine admit the habit to a group of colleagues.

You hear the entire exchange in instant replay—but not exactly. Your part of the dialogue changes.  You redraft your responses. They get better, wiser, funnier, more cavalier, spontaneous, more patient, firmer, less aggressive, more resigned. Finally, they’re tuned to perfection. Then you ache for the opportunity to redo the dialogue in real life.

Most of the time that second chance never comes around—at least, not in exactly the same circumstance with the same person. But that doesn’t mean the all-nighter wasn’t worth the thought. Why?

The basic business act of 2008 is communicating. Search on the single word communication and Google will turn up 320,000,000 results. In the workplace alone, your success at almost any endeavor correlates to your ability to communicate well, so you—and I—need all the practice we can get.

In leafing through the March issue of Communication Briefings: Ideas That Work, a publication devoted to workplace communication, for example, we learn to

survive a “pile it on” boss and leave the office with a focused list of priorities

improve relationships while negotiating

give “full-circle” feedback

deliver more persuasive presentations

show more empathetic responses as we listen

avoid bull-dozer tendencies when leading

end a customer or client conversation

lead a team to listen to each other more effectively

keep better meeting notes

create more engaging copy for a website

make better use of time on the phone

neutralize win-lose discussions without breaking relationships

criticize to some effect

persuade others to change their behavior

polish a professional image

receive honest feedback

introduce change and make it palatable

deliver bad news with hope that bolsters morale

Communication—all of it. Unless you climb poles to repair power lines or toss pizza all day, it’s difficult to think of doing many jobs that don’t require core communication skills. Communicate well and you can master a job, influence a team, persuade a boss, win a client, build a business, create wealth, serve humankind, and move from success to significance.

Communicate poorly and your life fills with stress and unresolved problems just as surely as if you tried to patch a flat tire with bubble gum.

Make improvement intentional. With every conversation, every meeting, every presentation, analyze and evaluate: Ask yourself: What went wrong? What went well? Why? What could or should I have said differently? What is the communication lesson learned?

Posted at 3:22pm in Communication—Interpersonal, Communication—Oral, Communication—Written, General Communication, Personal Productivity | Permalink | Add Comment » |

Those of you who read my blog regularly know that I try to stay clear of politics in these posts—except as candidates or issues themselves illustrate communication issues. Here’s one of a handful posted in the last year that meet that criteria—above the fray, illustrative, inspiring.

While watching an interview with presidential candidate John McCain last week, I was struck with the power of self-effacing comments to 1) make someone likeable 2) stem the tide of opposition 3) have “underdog” appeal and 4) engender trust in someone’s integrity.

The talk-show host commented to Senator McCain, “In the Vietnam war, you were a real hero. I didn’t learn until recently that the VietCong offered to release you to come home because you were the son of the Admiral but that you refused because your comrades wouldn’t be released as well. Is that true?”

McCain brushed aside the comment, obviously meant as a compliment to his character, with a nod and a little humor. “Unfortunately, I didn’t know the war would last a few more years at that point.”

Later the interviewer commented on his physical pain in having both his arms broken and the lack of medical attention for his other injuries, saying he himself [the interviewer] could not have endured such suffering. McCain’s response: “Sure you could. Anybody would do the same thing in the same situation. You love America. Many have given sacrifices far greater than I.”

When asked about the little known fact of his two sons serving in Iraq and his sacrifice and commitment to America as a parent, McCain responded, “I’d prefer not to discuss my sons and have always tried to leave my sons out of it.”

When baited with the subject of Pastor Jeremiah Wright’s comments and the link to Barack Obama, the interviewer gave him every opening to cast doubt on the character, values, and judgment of his opponent in the presidential race and tout his own better judgment. Instead, McCain replied, “You can’t blame others for comments made by supporters who endorse them. Just because they agree with you doesn’t mean you agree with them. I know Obama personally and believe he’s a loyal American.”

Politics is not the only playground for promotion. Everyday we encounter websites, radio and TV ads, résumés, sales pitches, and project plans that scream…

….the leading provider of X….
….the world’s number one Y….
….the only one on the market that….
….the first and only….
….has given more to charity than….
….one of the world’s foremost authorities….
….the city’s most prominent philanthropist….

In a world where everyone is blowing their own horn, it’s occasionally refreshing to hear modesty about accomplishments, sacrifice, charity, and even goodwill for opponents.

Am I alone out there in thinking the world could use a little more humility?

Posted at 11:19am in Communication—Interpersonal, Communication—Oral, General Communication | Permalink | 1 Comment |

Warning:  I’m about to make a sweeping generalization that will offend many MBAs and PhDs out there.   I have no survey data to back it up other than résumés collected during the past 27 years at my company—and writing samples collected from participants in our writing training programs. 

 

But here’s my conclusion:  There’s very little correlation between someone’s writing ability and their formal education.  But there IS a strong correlation between their thinking ability and writing skill.  Clear writing represents clear thinking.

 

What’s worse than putting convoluted thinking on paper for the world to see?  Touting it in a résumé when you’re trying to land a job.   Every week 3-5 résumés land on my desk—sometimes more. When we’re interviewing to fill a current vacancy, as we’ve been during this past month, I review piles of résumés.

 

Consider the logic and awkward wording of some of the following excerpted statements.  Some read as if written by someone who speaks English as their third or fourth language. Yet clearly from the transmittal email or letter, the applicant has been educated in English in the good ole’ USA.  I’m always chagrined to glance at the “Education” section of the résumé and see “BA” or “Master’s Degree,” major in journalism or English literature, GPA 3.5 or better.  (Why the surprise? Higher expectations.  Engineers and others from a technical background frequently crack jokes in our workshops about their inability to write.)

 

Back to the excerpts I’ve been reading this past couple of weeks:

“I strive to be a trendsetter and provide the best professional customer service in any profession that I obtain. While being a trendsetter trying new tasks and welcoming many challenges has been a success for me.” (How’s that again?)

 

“Looking for full or part-time work that will exemplify my upbeat demeanor, communication skills, and tenacious attention to details.” (The work will exemplify his demeanor?)

 

“Objective:  To obtain a position which would utilize my business, legal knowledge and accounting skills, as well as my ability to build good people relationships.”   (The position is going to use these skills?  And what other kinds of relationships are there besides people relationships?)

 

“To obtain a challenging position within a company for advancement with the use of my skills and ability to multi-task.” (I guess, maybe?) 

 

“I am currently seeking a professional, developing opportunity for growth where I can learn and excel in every aspect of the workplace. I openly welcome a career that will strengthen and enhance the knowledge in which I’ve already acquired, while creating new challenges for me to overcome.”   (okay, well, then.)

Such résumés make us chuckle.  Then they make us sad for the state of our education system.  Then they make us really worry about any family members and friends with such poor writing skills who are looking for jobs because they have huge hurdles to overcome before they’ll ever get the chance to tell a prospective employer what they can do otherwise.

 

And finally, such résumés should make you exuberant if you yourself write well and are job hunting.  Your résumé should stand out like a floodlight during a blackout.

Posted at 10:38am in Communication—Written | Permalink | Add Comment » |

This month’s Communication Tip highlights the importance of making your bottom-line your opening line in your business presentations.

If you’ve heard—or used—a great opening line, please share it with us!  Enter it as a comment below.

The person with the best entry will receive a free copy of my “Powerful Sit-Down Presentations” eBook.

Posted at 1:56pm in General Communication | Permalink | 14 Comments |

Maybe you’ve seen this commercial already for theLadders.com, the online job site exclusively for $100K candidates looking for $100K jobs.  (www.theladders.com)

The commercial opens with a tennis match in progress.  But soon you discover the two players on the court can’t return the ball to each other because random people start running onto the court and getting in their way—very unsuitable people, inappropriately dressed for the game, overweight and out of shape, without the proper tennis equipment, unfocused and, in fact, some putting on makeup in center court.  Random balls are bouncing to and fro across the net.  Hundreds of would-be players are slamming into each other, swinging rackets and briefcases in all directions, trying to hit odd balls every which way. 

The real players stand aside, amazed at the chaos on the court.

In about the last 10 seconds of the commercial, the voice-over says, “If you think about it, this is the trouble with most job search sites:  When you let everyone play, nobody wins.”  The website address appears on the screen, along with the text:  “The most $100K+ jobs.”  Fade to end.

Classy.  Clear. Concise. Memorable. The tennis scene says it all.  Exactly what a presentation visual should be.  

The next time you’re creating a presentation and tempted to resort to a bulleted word list, keep this commercial in mind. 

Posted at 4:12pm in General Communication, Potpourri | Permalink | Add Comment » |