Listening: An Act of Love
Many people now pay a psychologist to fill the role a friend used to play. We open one of the modules in our interpersonal skills course with this first line, and attendees around the room nod, as if struck for the first time with awareness.
Starbucks generates buzz because it creates community for those who gather there. Recently, it "featured" a book called Listening Is an Act of Love, a collection of compelling excerpts from more than 10,000 interviews recorded and compiled by StoryCorps founder Dave Isay. Each story—a single moment in time, either historical, emotional, or personal—grabs the essence of that person and reflects their human struggles with love, family, loyalty, or whatever.
StoryCorp’s founder had a correct hunch: Many people feel invisible. They believe that what they think, feel, and say doesn’t matter. They fear they’ll be forgotten once they leave planet earth—that their lives will not have mattered. So all the producer had to do was to provide a facility, recording equipment, and a facilitator, and then wait for people to invite their family members and friends to sit down and talk.
The results: Poignant stories for those willing to listen.
French philosopher Voltaire summed it up well: "The shortest route to a man’s heart is through the ear."
With Thanksgiving just past and Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Year’s holidays around the corner, consider your listening-talking differential during social and family gatherings. Which body part does most of the work when you’re with friends and family: ears or mouth? Where’s the love?
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