What to Say in Response to Someone’s Loss
My brother went home to be with his heavenly Father last week after a long struggle with cancer. We are a very close family, and the loss feels insurmountable at the moment.
But as I plow through the sadness and return to work this week, refocusing on communication issues, I’m reminded of a great truth in a time of sorrow: Expressions of concern never need to be eloquent; they just need to be genuine.
Genuineness is what I heard plenty of this past week in my brother and sister-in-law’s small town of Sulphur Springs—from friends, family, neighbors, church members, those they had served in the community.
When I received the news about my brother while on the road, several strangers in my speaking audience came up to me at the end of the session to say, “I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Is there anything I can do to help you get to the airport faster?” The pained expression on their face spoke volumes.
During the weekend of the memorial, there were those who recounted memories of wonderful things my brother, Keith, had done for them. Those who offered to run errands. Those who planted pansies in the flowerbeds without evening asking. Those who brought food. Those who visited. Those who hugged. Those who just wept with us. Those who sent cards, flowers, and donations (to the Parkinson’s Foundation, in honor of his wife, affected by the disease). Those who wrote eloquent memorials.
All such expressions reminded me of one thing in times of difficulty or tragedy of any kind: Sincerity speaks louder than any specific words ever could. When the “right” words won’t come, never let that keep you from communicating compassion in any form to those in need of your love and concern.
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