Resist the Temptation to Push Back
“How can we open closed minds—people who do not want to listen to any arguments or logic?” Today I’m sharing Tip #27 in this series—on how to get through to people who are difficult to reason with:
Opposition spawns opposition. If you don’t believe it, ask a partner to stand face to face with you and align yourselves open palm to open palm. Push gently. You’ll notice how the partner pushes back. Push harder. You’ll notice the partner increase pressure as you do.
The same principle is at work in persuasion. The harder you push, the harder someone pushes back. So, to neutralize an emotional exchange, as soon as you feel the other side become agitated, let up the pressure. You can even come around to the other side of the table. "Okay, let me stop here and summarize where we are. If I understand you clearly, you think the decision is a bad one for three reasons. First, the X won’t work. . . ." Once you stand on the other person’s side of the table and take up his or her side, that person becomes neutral again. The pushing stops. You may even want to ask the other side to summarize your key points "for clarity’s sake."
The idea is to neutralize the emotional conflict long enough for logic to take its course—should logic be on your side.
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