Communication Quandary Series: Opening Closed Minds
Tariq Zohair, from Karachi, Pakistan, reached me at askdianna@booher.com and asked this question: “How can we open closed minds—people who do not want to listen to any arguments or logic?” I’ve been spending several blogs tackling this problem since there are so many ways to deal with people who are difficult to reason with. (For Tips 1-23, check out past blogs.)
24) Investigate the standard causes of resistance.
If you’re having difficulty getting people to accept your point, take time to investigate their points. Your willingness to investigate and listen goes a long way in demonstrating your integrity and intelligence.
People resist change because it creates uncertainty. Maybe your idea will work and maybe it won’t. What if the group invests time and money in the new plan and the old one turns out to be better? That fence-setting period of indecision creates discomfort.
A second reason for resistance is the not-invented-here insecurity: Why did someone else, rather than I, think of that idea? This is my department; why are you trying to tell me how to run it? What’s mine is mine. This insecurity is especially at play if the person with the new idea has less experience or time on the job.
Then there’s competitiveness. In some situations, if your idea wins, mine loses.
Fourth, there are personality issues: I don’t like you; therefore, I don’t like your ideas or I’m a negative person—I don’t like anything or anybody. Only after you hear the unspoken concerns and then identify their causes can you set about minimizing resistance.
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