Booher BanterBusiness Communication Consultant

Tariq Zohair, from Karachi, Pakistan, reached me at askdianna@booher.com and asked this question: “How can we open closed minds—people who do not want to listen to any arguments or logic?” I’ve been spending several blogs tackling this problem since there are so many ways to deal with people who are difficult to reason with. (For Tips 1-18, check out past blogs.)

19)  Prepare for the standard objections. 

Objections in the workplace are, unfortunately, standard:  "We’ve never done it that way before."  "We can’t afford to."  "We can’t afford not to."  "It’s risky."  "Let’s let somebody else work out the bugs and then we’ll see."  "We’ve got too much invested in the status quo."  "We don’t have the time to devote to it."  "We don’t have enough people."  "We don’t have the expertise."  "That’s somebody else’s job."  "I just don’t think we can make it work."  "Our people won’t like it." 

Plan your response to the objections you know will arise in your discussions.

20)  Agree before you disagree.   

To avoid the appearance of not listening to points others raise, hear them out, pause, and then agree with at least something they’ve said:  "That is a related issue, all right.  The first thing, however, we need is…" or "You have a point.  Do you think that should be our primary criteria?" or "You’re right about that.  I wonder if…"  They’ll tag you as a reasonable, flexible person.

21)  Don’t aim to "outargue" them.   

As my mother used to say, even if you argue "until you’re blue in the face," you will lose if you make the other person feel outdone.  You can outtalk, outsmart, outreason, but still fail to gain agreement if the other person doesn’t feel good about the decision in the long run.  The best approach is to present your point accurately, enthusiastically, and sincerely.  Then listen.  Know when to be flexible and offer a compromise.  Even if you smell blood, don’t go for the kill.

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