Communication Quandary Series: Opening Closed Minds
Tariq Zohair, from Karachi, Pakistan, recently reached me at askdianna@booher.com and asked this question: “How can we open closed minds—people who do not want to listen to any arguments or logic?” I’ve been spending several blogs tackling this problem since there are so many ways to deal with people who are difficult to reason with. (For Tips 1-9, check out past blogs from July.)
10) Invite others to try on your idea.
How many times have you heard the lament, “If I could just get the boss to try it, she’d like it.” That’s why we get toothpaste, cereal, and soap in the mail. A parent says, “If I could just get Johnny to go to the party, I know he’d have a good time.” The professor says, “If I could just get the students to read poetry, I know they’d like it.” The car salesperson says, “If I could just get people to come in for a test drive, I know they’d be sold.”
The same is true with ideas. People can’t try new ideas on over old ones. Have you ever tried a new suit of clothes on while wearing the old one? You have to persuade people to throw away the old policy, procedure, or machine—at least for a time—for them to give the new policy, procedure, or equipment a fair trial. To persuade others to try on the new idea, you have to let them play with the idea first—discuss what-ifs, who-withs, where-necessarys, whys, and how-tos. Only then will they really put on the idea and wear it awhile.
11) State quantifiable facts rather than opinions.
Studies do show that people give credence to people who take the time to back up what they’re saying with hard facts and data. Yes, initial impressions count, but hard evidence counts most of all. For things you find difficult to measure and quantify, come up with an estimation. But don’t pick a number out of the air. Be prepared to share your logic behind the number. Be straightforward that your numbers are estimates and share your rationale behind them.
Notice the difference in impact and authority in these statements: “We spent $82,000 from February to October on temporary staff in the Operations and Accounting departments” versus “We’ve spent a lot of money on temporary staff this year” or “Hyong completed his project three months earlier than his deadline and $50,000 under budget. The customer gave him the highest satisfaction rating we’ve received in our six years work with that company” versus “Hyong deserves a raise—he’s dependable and customers respect his work.”
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