Booher BanterBusiness Communication Consultant

“You can’t just go anywhere at any time you like,” the warden at the federal prison explained to the soon-to-be parolee.  “You’re going to be wearing an ankle sensor to allow the parole officer to monitor your whereabouts. You’ll be allowed to leave your house between 7 a.m. and 6 p.m. for work. But other than that, you’ll have only a small window of opportunity to leave your house.  Do you understand?”

“Yeah.  Just which window should I use?” the convict asked.

Conversations around your conference table or dinner table sometimes may not be much clearer than this miscommunication the prison warden shared with me.  Both written and spoken snafus surface everywhere. The difference between success and tragedy may hinge on a garbled statement, a single misused word, an unstated assumption, an invalid conclusion, a euphemism, or a nonverbal cue that nixes the verbal.

We all think we’re clear communicators; otherwise, we wouldn’t say what we do.  So what signals trouble, and which safeguards ensure success?

1) Beware the blank stare.  People always assume the confusion happens on the other end of the communication–that what they themselves say is perfectly clear and that the other person just missed it somehow. 

2) Start with the punch line.  People may argue that others won’t understand the message without a little background information.  But actually the opposite is true. People will never understand the background until they know your point.

3) Make sure your nonverbal cues don’t contradict your words.  Words alone never carry the complete message.  Messages come from context, relationship, tone of voice, what was said, what was not said, and body language.  All these things together comprise the total message that people “hear.”

If you see glazed eyes, glance in the mirror. Don’t assume the problem is always on the receiving end. Beware the blank stare.

Share and Enjoy

Posted at 2:49pm in General Communication | Permalink | 1 Comment |

I leave Friday for Las Vegas—but don’t worry, this isn’t the typical weekend fling at the slot machines. I’ll be speaking at the Society of Human Resource Management (SHRM) International Conference and Exposition. Over 210,000 individuals comprise the membership of SHRM, the largest human resource management association in the world. I’ll be delivering their Super Sunday Session, “Creating Executive Presence,” at 12:30 on June 24th, then doing a book-signing for my latest book, The Voice of Authority: 10 Communication Strategies Every Leader Needs to Know, at 2:15 the same day in the SHRM bookstore. If you plan to attend these SHRM events Saturday-Wednesday, please try to drop by one of my sessions and say hello.

Saturday, June 23, 1:00 p.m.-5:00 p.m., SHRM Academy—“Effective Communications in the C-Suite” (also offered Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday)
Sunday, June 24, 8:00 a.m.-12:00 p.m., SHRM Academy—“Effective Communications in the C-Suite”
Sunday, June 24, 12:30-2:00 p.m., “Creating Executive Presence”
Sunday, June 24, 2:15 p.m., Voice of Authority book-signing
Monday, June 25, 1:45-5:30 p.m., SHRM Academy—“Effective Communications in the C-Suite”
Tuesday, June 26, 1:45-5:30 p.m., SHRM Academy—“Effective Communications in the C-Suite”
Wednesday, June 27, 10:00 a.m.-11:15 a.m., Strategic Writing
Wednesday, June 27, 11:30 a.m., Voice of Authority book-signing

This link will take you to the SHRM site for information and a conference schedule.

You’ll notice from this schedule that I’m also on the SHRM Academy faculty, and if you’re unfamiliar with these sessions that run 6-8 times a year across the country, you may want to check out this link for topics on leadership, finance, legal compliance, and so forth, led by leading professors from Cornell, Harvard, and MIT, among others. My goal this week is to provide valuable communication principles to Human Resource professionals so they can go back to their corporate offices and literally revolutionize their individual industries. I often say that communication is the most important asset on your balance sheet. Nothing gets done until someone communicates a need, idea, solution, and a strategy, and then creates a culture that fosters open communication to execute a plan. How well we communicate dictates how well we do business.

Share and Enjoy

Posted at 2:51pm in General Communication | Permalink | Add Comment » |

Recently, Cord Cooper of Investor’s Business Daily interviewed me on my new book, The Voice of Authority: 10 Communication Strategies Every Leader Needs to Know, for his June 14 column, “IBD’s 10 Secrets to Success.” We talked about the importance of showing concern when communicating—finding a segue into negative news, supporting it with reasons rather than excuses, and then zeroing in on the other person’s situation and issues. Keeping the lines connected can really be that simple. So why can’t we communicate with the other person in mind, admit our mistakes, say we’re sorry?

(Back to that rhetorical question in a minute.)

For a moment, consider the incident of the “54 Million Dollar Pants Lawsuit” that has been in the news for weeks. Who would have thought that one lost pair of pants from a Washington, D.C., dry cleaners would be so important that a lawyer/judge couldn’t get a new pair—or at least accept the remuneration the company offered him? At first you might think, “What a crazy customer! Suing for one pair of pants—are they made of gold?” This is the media’s dominant slant.

Yet, as the cliché goes, every story has two sides. We can’t be sure of what exactly went on. But along with the money offered up front, if the owners of the cleaners had said, “We’re sorry,” it might have taken the sting out of the situation—for both parties in the end. If you can rely on most customer satisfaction surveys, for most of the people most of the time, a sincere apology erases a multitude of wrongs.

According to the Associated Press, even the hospitals in the University of Michigan Health System have been encouraging doctors to apologize for mistakes. As a result, the system’s annual attorney fees, malpractice lawsuits, and notices of intent to sue have fallen dramatically.

Next time you need to let someone know you lost their pants, lost a case, or lost their keys, consider your audience—and the consequences. Your reaction and level of concern have everything to do with the outcome.

Back to my earlier question and thesis: So why can’t we communicate with the other person in mind, admit our mistakes, and apologize?

Ego. A big communication barrier in leaders.

Share and Enjoy

Posted at 5:00pm in General Communication | Permalink | Add Comment » |

I plan to address communication topics you provide that would be helpful and common among many blog readers.

We communicate in many ways—and not just with words.  How would you rate your interaction with others in the office?  At home?  At the gym? 

Let’s get a dialog going.  Just submit your topic or question through the "Post a Comment" feature on this blog.  I’ll review it for a future blog posting or as a topic in my ezine, Booher’s Communication Tip of the Month.  Thanks much.

Share and Enjoy

Posted at 3:04pm in General Communication | Permalink | 1 Comment |

Phil Yaffe, former Wall Street Journal writer, in his book, In the ‘I’ of the Storm: the Simple Secrets of Writing and Speaking (Almost) Like a Professional, discusses his theory of how mathematics relates to public speaking. In an article based on the book (www.refresher.com/aplymath.html), Yaffe points out that expository writing is no one’s first choice of reading material.

How do we combat this unenthusiastic response to our routine business documents? Be clear and concise. To help readers understand the essence of clarity (CL), Yaffe breaks down his mathematical formula: CL = EDE. This translates to the following:

1.    E mphasize what is of key importance.
2.    D e-emphasize what is of secondary importance.
3.    E liminate what is of no importance.

He’s right. Good communication—the kind that people read and actually process, or hear and actually listen to—depends on clarity. In my newest book, The Voice of Authority: 10 Communication Strategies Every Leader Needs to Know, released from McGraw-Hill this month, I devote an entire chapter to the question, “Is it Clear?”

How do you know if you’ve bumbled your way through a speech or email and given out information that’s going to get you nowhere? Consider the following signs that you’re not getting through:

1. Lack of questions
2. Unexpected responses
3. Lack of coordination (Things “falling between the cracks” in coordinating projects)
4. Rework (Projects have to be redone because the instructions weren’t clear the first time.)
5. Low morale (People feel discouraged that they can never “get it right” when projects are frequently delegated without essential elements for successful completion.)

Sound familiar? Don’t panic.

• Use plain English. If a phrase starts to roll off your tongue, shut your mouth; consider it a cliché—probably a phrase so overused that the meaning has long since been lost. Instead, aim for meaning and precision.
• Start with the punch line. People will never understand the background information until they know your point.
• Choose specifics. Words carry the crux of conversation. Selection is central to understanding and agreement.

We might all do well to work a little math the next time we start to write.

Share and Enjoy

Posted at 11:44am in General Communication | Permalink | 2 Comments |