The Daddy Derby: How Words Shape Our Thoughts
Okay, I give up. I thought I could withstand the temptation to get involved in the latest American soap opera unfolding in the Florida court over Anna Nicole Smith’s body. But alas, I have succumbed to the daily dose of sordid details dumped into my living room each evening. At least I’ll try to tackle this tangled web from a different perspective than your average reporter:
Here’s my contribution to the saga: Words have incredible power—to heal or hurt, to motivate or demoralize, to persuade or prevent action.
For instance, with the recent media explosion over Anna Nicole’s death, controversial viewpoints flood the airwaves and grocery store check-out lines with opinions about everything from the DNA doubtfuls, to the mother-daughter relationship, to Howard Stern’s character, to Anna Nicole’s mental stability.
One TV reporter interviewed passers-by about why the story has held such fascination for Americans. Here are a few of the comments:
"Anna Nicole is such a tragic figure."
"I can’t help but worry about that 5-month-old baby."
"Anna’s had such a terrible childhood. You have to feel sorry for someone who has been through what she has suffered."
"What a romp through life! It’s just fascinating to see how people like that live."
"They’re all money-grabbers. It’s funny."
From an Aussie: "Oh, you Americans. Your media will drag this story out for weeks."
Anna Nicole’s attorney, Ron Rale, paints Anna far more favorably than most: "’Poor Anna Nicole’….’She’s been the underdog. She’s been besieged … and she’s been trying her best and nobody should have to endure what she’s endured.’” (MSNBC.com)
If you listen to him, she’s a helpless victim.
One of the "Derby Dads," Howard K. Stern, remembers her as, "’my best friend, my lover…. My whole world’…." (CNN.com)
Suddenly, Anna Nicole seems like a sweet, supportive woman.
Yet her own mother has stated on the witness stand that "drugs soured the relationship" with her daughter. Asked about her one regret in her relationship with Anna Nicole, her mother responded, "… that I couldn’t get her off drugs." So this helpless victim and supportive woman turns yet another face to the world: hopeless drug addict.
Still another "word" from Neil Steinberg of the Chicago Sun-Times. He piques our interest with this reflective question: "She had a will? That seems so out of character. How much of a wild party woman could she really have been if she had a will?" (See article here.)
Finally, a frustrated blogger sees Anna Nicole as "this clown who has been given everything …" but who managed to "fail so brilliantly at simply existing." (Read the full posting.)
Were an alien from outer space considering all these descriptive phrases, Anna Nicole might well seem like someone with a multiple personality disorder. Her entire identity and one’s outlook on the situation changes based simply on word choice.
Likewise, every day as we go about our routine activities, we absorb concepts, ideas, and attitudes that shape opinions we will later spout off as our own. In your own career, what kinds of words are you using to represent yourself, your company, your product or service?
Telling new employees that you’re "proud" to have them is not the same thing as telling them that you are "pleased" to have them. Expressing "confusion" over a report is not the same as expressing "consternation." Encouraging your employees toward "greater success" is not the same as encouraging "better quality."
To belabor a point: Just as your thoughts become words, your words shape the thought of others. Choose them carefully before your next job interview, executive presentation, or marriage proposal.





