Booher BanterBusiness Communication Consultant

Here’s a note I once received from a reader:  “I work in a public library and, for all of my twenty years of experience, still find handling rude, abusive patrons a challenge. My supervisor tells me not to take it personally, but that isn’t always easy.  How do I respond when someone gets upset over a $1.00 fine for a late video or an error on their record? I try to make light of it, and reply that as long as humans sit in front of a computer, there will be errors…. Am I to ignore the abuse?”

Okay, so I recall the Proverb that says, “A soft answer turns away wrath.” But I’ve always considered that option in light of my personal relationships—those times when my children have just thrown a baseball through the living room picture window.  Or, maybe that philosophy stifled a rising urge to snap an “I told you so” at my husband after he’d spearheaded a family vacation that had backfired and ended in seven days of misery.

But when face to face with these issues in the workplace, do nice people just have to “take it”?

Not only do coworkers complain at things we can’t control and customers coerce us and drain all our energy and profit; but picky, pushy, perturbed people, unfortunately, show up at PTA on Thursday night, at church on Sunday morning, and at the office staff meeting on Monday morning.  Some of these with grumpy dispositions are simply having a bad day. Possibly others are just showing their true nature. But the result is the same for those around them:  misery.

Just how do you handle these occasions?  How do you communicate to get things done and work out issues when the other person in the situation is, well, frankly, a crank?

First, it typically takes an attitude check.  I often have to ask myself: Do I really have compassion for people?  Do I see people as a reason for my work or an interruption of my work?

Second, it takes a little insight to determine someone’s intentions and motivations, plus a calm and patient attitude—traits that often are in short supply in the middle of a hectic schedule.

Finally, it often helps to remind myself how often I’ve been forgiven by others when I was guilty of some small insult or slight that occurred in the workplace.

When we find ourselves communicating with rude people, maybe the more important question should be, How can I make a positive impact on my office environment through my communication with other people—even strangers stranded in a few seconds of stress?

Use this forum to share your experiences:  How do you handle the troublesome cranks that cross your path from time to time?

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