Booher BanterYour Resource for the best ideas to improve communications skills.

Last night I was working late at the office, when a call came in to my extension.  Thinking it might be one of our consultants stuck in an airport, victim of a cancelled flight somewhere, I answered. 

The stranger on the phone responded, “Uh, …oh, …it’s you.  I, well, I didn’t expect you to answer.  I’m not prepared.  I, uh, I was just going to leave a voice mail with a few questions.  I didn’t think you’d be answering your own phone.  I’m just totally surprised.  Well, let’s see.  My questions:  I’m just finishing my master’s degree and hoping to change jobs, and well, actually I’m in a bank lobby right now and can’t really talk about it. I don’t have a lot of time to go into it.  I just called, thinking you wouldn’t be there. But now that I have you, maybe you could tell me what I need to know about this industry.  We’re starting a business very similar to yours and wanted to know if you could help us get started—things like …”

It seems that similar silly calls have been needling L.M. Sixel, columnist for the Houston Chronicle, as well.  She interviewed me recently for a column on phone and email manners.  Her complaint?  People who call and open with, “Did you get my email?”

But the problem is NOT just proper phone usage.  Email isn’t all that dependable these days either.  On three different occasions last week, we emailed items to people who never received them.  They had to call and say, “it’s not coming through—where is it?”  Four days ago, an American Express agent promised to email confirmation of a vacation itinerary “immediately.”  It hasn’t arrived yet.  So should I wade through all their phone recordings, pressing this and that, to find out what happened—or should I assume the agent just hasn’t gotten around to finishing the job?

The pressing predicament for all of us in the workplace?  All communication channels have become clogged.  Automated menus make it difficult to reach a human by phone.  Email gets snagged by spam-filters or lost in cyberspace.  Physical mailboxes contain little more than junk mail.  Cell phones lose signals and drop calls.

But before we blame it all on technology snafus, we have to look in the mirror.  Many of us hide behind voice mail routinely so that even Regis Philbin couldn’t get through.  We send email and hope for only email responses so that we don’t have to actually talk to people.

Both voice mail and email CAN be productivity tools.  But when used poorly, they can thwart communication of even the most competent and committed—and send customers fleeing to your competitors.

Posted at 3:00pm in Communication—Interpersonal, Communication—Sales, Email Hints, General Communication, Personal Productivity | Permalink | Add Comment » |

Attitude.  You see it a lot lately with politicians, pastors, or parents—especially when their kids get disciplined at school against their wishes.  Toss mixed messages and strong personalities into the pot, and you’ve got boiling conversation ready to blow and overflow.

Take yesterday, for example.   The caller says to me, “We’ve got a group here that needs some training in copywriting.  They’re all very experienced, seasoned pros.  They don’t think they have anything to learn so the instructor’s going to get a lot of attitude and have to handle some strong personalities.”

I’m a little puzzled at this point.  So I ask, “Oh, experienced people?  Your email this morning said you wanted training on the fundamentals?”

“Right.  They’re experienced and knowledgeable, but we need to train them in the fundamentals.”

“Hmmm.”  She didn’t seem to be aware of any contradiction, so I probed a little deeper to see what I’d missed in the transaction so far.  “Has there been a specific change that’s created the need for this training?  A new service offering?  Or a new product roll-out?”

“No change really.  It’s just that we’re going through a lot of restructuring.  People have been assigned to new departments, reporting to new bosses with new expectations and new standards.  New products and services to generate copy for—that sort of thing.”

No change?  I was beginning to look around for the hidden camera, wondering how my jacket color would work on TV.

The caller continued about her needs:  “We want the group to learn to be more creative. To think outside the box.  To write copy that’s more engaging.  To draw people into what they write.”

Okay, I thought, so now we’re getting clarity.  “Is there some specific event that prompted your request or this need?  Maybe some brochure or flyer that didn’t work well for you?”

“Not specifically, it’s just that everybody’s doing their own thing.  And we’re trying to get them to standardize what they do so that everything they write and design has the same look and feel.”

“Hmmm.”   I was trying to hone in here since I had something that was not directly contradictory. “So you want them to be more creative with copy—but within your standard practices about branding such as issues of color, paper, font, and so forth.”

“Exactly!”

What can you do when you subscribe to the standard “The customer is always right” even when the customer is contradictory?   Lead by asking questions.  And create awareness of the ambiguities in what they’re saying by asking questions—without making them defensive. 

That’s the tough part.  How do you know if you’re successful?  You get either attitude or gratitude.

Posted at 5:59pm in Communication—Interpersonal, General Communication | Permalink | Add Comment » |

Last week’s investor meeting in New York is still keeping me awake at night.  (See my April 18 post: “The Power of Summary.”)   Imagine what kind of flashbacks I would be having had I been a CEO-hopeful on stage, spilling my guts and glory before the roomful of investors who’d flown in from around the world to find that dazzling gem-of-a-company to fund through its next stage of growth.

In case you didn’t read my last post, my role there was corporate advisor to a client team looking for venture capital funding.  Each of the 22 companies (out of the more than 100 companies that applied) invited to present their organization to the group had 10 minutes to make themselves glitter and win the gold.

But one by one, the CEOs climbed on the platform, clicked through their presentation slides, and for the most part, committed these same egregious mistakes as we see weekly in our presentation skills training:

1. No clear-cut theme or key message
2. Too much data for the allocated time, leading to information overload
3. Absence of techniques to help listeners retain the information
4. Slides competing with (rather than supporting) the speaker
5. Too many slides for the allotted time
6. No attention-getting opener
7. Absence of a prepared, high-impact close that focuses on action
8. Low energy
9. Difficult-to-understand voice—either rapid-fire delivery or mumbling
10. Boring visuals (bulleted list after bulleted list)

Sound familiar?  If so, consider using the above as your own “thou shalt not” checklist for the next time you take stage or coach a colleague.

Posted at 3:26pm in Communication—Oral | Permalink | Add Comment » |

Summarize Seriously. Doesn’t quite have the ring of the romantic movie Love Actually, does it? But that shouldn’t tempt you to trivialize the issue that surfaced yesterday in a roomful of investors willing to plunk down anywhere from $5-$100 million on some entrepreneurial business that interested them.

“Remember the 10-minute time limit for each presenting company,” the moderator of the event explained to the group of 22 hopeful CEOs prepared to win his or her share of the available funds. “We’ve hosted this event for several years. And the feedback from these investors seated around you is that they make up their minds in the first 3-4 minutes whether they’re interested or not. So the ten minutes we’ve allotted to tell your story is quite adequate.”

He paused to let the point sink in. There as a corporate advisor to my client, I nodded my “I told you so” to the team. Roger that. They were locked and loaded, ready for launch.

Evidently, many others were not.

Executive after executive of these small businesses stepped to the microphone and stumbled and stuttered their way through 4-6 minutes of their allotted ten before being able to clearly state what it is their company does. Many tried to start with how they got into the business. Some started by introducing their management team (important, of course, for a group of investors—but not for 3 minutes!). Some rambled on about how they came up with their logo, packaging design, recipe, or facilities. Several talked about differentiation. A few talked about how they’d tested their product—clinical data and analysis.

Only a handful—make that a newborn’s fist—summarized upfront ALL the key elements about their business that a group of investors would want to know.

Yet, I bet if you asked any one of these busy executives back on the job how important the ability to summarize is, they’d launch into a sermon about some pet peeve such as these:

long disorganized voice mails their employees or prospects leave for them

meetings where someone can’t articulate a clear idea succinctly

emails that include far too much detail

reports that read like a novel rather than a status/project update

So to develop the ability to summarize massive amounts of information well, seek out some good models. For starters, I suggest The Wall Street Journal’s “What’s News?” column.(Readers, if you have other suggestions for great summarizers out there, please feel free to share them here.)

Posted at 5:15pm in Communication—Interpersonal, Communication—Oral, Communication—Sales, General Communication | Permalink | Add Comment » |

If you’re on the hearing end of a presentation, you may think it all looks effortless—the speaker flows with polished pearls of wisdom, parades across the platform with boundless energy, interacts spontaneously with the audience with great wit, responds to challenging questions with authority, and sways skeptics with genuine personal warmth.

But to put it in the common vernacular:  “Ain’t necessarily so.”

Yesterday, I delivered a keynote for 600 CEOs of small businesses and senior executives of large corporations on one of my typical communication topics.   Since it was one of those rare local events (as opposed to having to jump on an airplane), I’d dashed into the office to link up with four of our staff members, who were accompanying me to the convention center to staff the book table where I’d be autographing books after my session.  

Running about ten minutes later than I’d planned, I suppose I looked a little tense.  On the way out the door, Candy, our production manager, asked a question I’d not thought about in awhile:  “Do you still get nervous?”   

“Sure.  Always.”  I nodded.  Even after more than 20 years on the platform, I still get nervous.  

How nervous?  It just depends on the stakes.   What do I have to gain—or lose—by the keynote or business presentation?  What’s the potential contract worth?   How many potential new clients are sitting in the audience?   Is there another business opportunity hanging in the balance?  What’s the dollar value on that opportunity?  What’s new and different about this keynote—or is just the same ole’ same ole’?

Some of these same issues may flood your mind when you stand up to make business or technical presentation to a boss or prospect or deliver a keynote for your industry meeting.  What do you stand to gain or lose?  What are the differences between those sit-down-around-the-conference-table-conversations and those larger presentations?  How can you become more comfortable in the latter?

During the two-hour program and the two-hour networking event that followed yesterday, here are some of the comments that attendees shared with me:

—“You know, I don’t mind talking in a small group. I’m fine there. But put me up on stage like you were today, and I’m very uncomfortable. I always tell my pastor-father, ‘it’s just not my gift.’”

—“I’m the sportscaster on a local Fox affiliate. I’ve never thought about some of those things. I made notes as I watched. I’m doing a speech tomorrow myself, and I need to be aware of the differences. It’ll make a huge difference.”

—“I always have to have a script and stand behind a podium. Always. As VP, I emcee events and introduce speakers. And we sponsor events like this all the time, where we ‘say a few words.’ But I’m just uncomfortable.”

To these people and all of you out there, here are three pointers that may help you get a kick out of keynotes—delivering, not just listening:

Understand your audience. Nothing gives you more confidence and helps you prepare better than talking to audience members beforehand. Ask them a few questions: What do you want to know about X? What are your biggest challenges in the area of X? What were you hoping I could help you with (or provide more information about)? Tell me a little more about your work—give me a “week-in-the-life-of” overview of your work. And, of course, you’ll want to ask these questions before you arrive on the scene so you have time to prepare to address these issues in your presentation or keynote.

Make your keynote both a conversation and a performance: That is, select a few people randomly in different parts of the audience and direct your comments to them. Make eye contact with them. Gesture toward them. Walk in their direction. (Everyone around them will think you’re looking at them as well.) The “conversation” mindset will relax you. But remember that you’re also delivering a performance; for that, you need energy and polished prose.

Be prepared. “Winging it” is for the birds. Nothing adds to your confidence like knowing exactly what you’re going to say—concisely, clearly, cleverly.

Keynotes can be a real kick if you feel confident. If not prepared, you’re going to want to kick yourself in the seat of the pants the day of the event.

Do we have some success stories out there? Let us hear about them.

Posted at 4:57pm in Communication—Oral | Permalink | 2 Comments |

Have you ever lain awake at night—almost all night—and replayed a conversation in your head over and over and over and over? For a long while, I thought I was the only one who did that. Then I heard other women admit they did it, too. Then yesterday I heard a male doctor friend of mine admit the habit to a group of colleagues.

You hear the entire exchange in instant replay—but not exactly. Your part of the dialogue changes.  You redraft your responses. They get better, wiser, funnier, more cavalier, spontaneous, more patient, firmer, less aggressive, more resigned. Finally, they’re tuned to perfection. Then you ache for the opportunity to redo the dialogue in real life.

Most of the time that second chance never comes around—at least, not in exactly the same circumstance with the same person. But that doesn’t mean the all-nighter wasn’t worth the thought. Why?

The basic business act of 2008 is communicating. Search on the single word communication and Google will turn up 320,000,000 results. In the workplace alone, your success at almost any endeavor correlates to your ability to communicate well, so you—and I—need all the practice we can get.

In leafing through the March issue of Communication Briefings: Ideas That Work, a publication devoted to workplace communication, for example, we learn to

survive a “pile it on” boss and leave the office with a focused list of priorities

improve relationships while negotiating

give “full-circle” feedback

deliver more persuasive presentations

show more empathetic responses as we listen

avoid bull-dozer tendencies when leading

end a customer or client conversation

lead a team to listen to each other more effectively

keep better meeting notes

create more engaging copy for a website

make better use of time on the phone

neutralize win-lose discussions without breaking relationships

criticize to some effect

persuade others to change their behavior

polish a professional image

receive honest feedback

introduce change and make it palatable

deliver bad news with hope that bolsters morale

Communication—all of it. Unless you climb poles to repair power lines or toss pizza all day, it’s difficult to think of doing many jobs that don’t require core communication skills. Communicate well and you can master a job, influence a team, persuade a boss, win a client, build a business, create wealth, serve humankind, and move from success to significance.

Communicate poorly and your life fills with stress and unresolved problems just as surely as if you tried to patch a flat tire with bubble gum.

Make improvement intentional. With every conversation, every meeting, every presentation, analyze and evaluate: Ask yourself: What went wrong? What went well? Why? What could or should I have said differently? What is the communication lesson learned?

Posted at 3:22pm in Communication—Interpersonal, Communication—Oral, Communication—Written, General Communication, Personal Productivity | Permalink | Add Comment » |

Those of you who read my blog regularly know that I try to stay clear of politics in these posts—except as candidates or issues themselves illustrate communication issues. Here’s one of a handful posted in the last year that meet that criteria—above the fray, illustrative, inspiring.

While watching an interview with presidential candidate John McCain last week, I was struck with the power of self-effacing comments to 1) make someone likeable 2) stem the tide of opposition 3) have “underdog” appeal and 4) engender trust in someone’s integrity.

The talk-show host commented to Senator McCain, “In the Vietnam war, you were a real hero. I didn’t learn until recently that the VietCong offered to release you to come home because you were the son of the Admiral but that you refused because your comrades wouldn’t be released as well. Is that true?”

McCain brushed aside the comment, obviously meant as a compliment to his character, with a nod and a little humor. “Unfortunately, I didn’t know the war would last a few more years at that point.”

Later the interviewer commented on his physical pain in having both his arms broken and the lack of medical attention for his other injuries, saying he himself [the interviewer] could not have endured such suffering. McCain’s response: “Sure you could. Anybody would do the same thing in the same situation. You love America. Many have given sacrifices far greater than I.”

When asked about the little known fact of his two sons serving in Iraq and his sacrifice and commitment to America as a parent, McCain responded, “I’d prefer not to discuss my sons and have always tried to leave my sons out of it.”

When baited with the subject of Pastor Jeremiah Wright’s comments and the link to Barack Obama, the interviewer gave him every opening to cast doubt on the character, values, and judgment of his opponent in the presidential race and tout his own better judgment. Instead, McCain replied, “You can’t blame others for comments made by supporters who endorse them. Just because they agree with you doesn’t mean you agree with them. I know Obama personally and believe he’s a loyal American.”

Politics is not the only playground for promotion. Everyday we encounter websites, radio and TV ads, résumés, sales pitches, and project plans that scream…

….the leading provider of X….
….the world’s number one Y….
….the only one on the market that….
….the first and only….
….has given more to charity than….
….one of the world’s foremost authorities….
….the city’s most prominent philanthropist….

In a world where everyone is blowing their own horn, it’s occasionally refreshing to hear modesty about accomplishments, sacrifice, charity, and even goodwill for opponents.

Am I alone out there in thinking the world could use a little more humility?

Posted at 11:19am in Communication—Interpersonal, Communication—Oral, General Communication | Permalink | 1 Comment |

Warning:  I’m about to make a sweeping generalization that will offend many MBAs and PhDs out there.   I have no survey data to back it up other than résumés collected during the past 27 years at my company—and writing samples collected from participants in our writing training programs. 

 

But here’s my conclusion:  There’s very little correlation between someone’s writing ability and their formal education.  But there IS a strong correlation between their thinking ability and writing skill.  Clear writing represents clear thinking.

 

What’s worse than putting convoluted thinking on paper for the world to see?  Touting it in a résumé when you’re trying to land a job.   Every week 3-5 résumés land on my desk—sometimes more. When we’re interviewing to fill a current vacancy, as we’ve been during this past month, I review piles of résumés.

 

Consider the logic and awkward wording of some of the following excerpted statements.  Some read as if written by someone who speaks English as their third or fourth language. Yet clearly from the transmittal email or letter, the applicant has been educated in English in the good ole’ USA.  I’m always chagrined to glance at the “Education” section of the résumé and see “BA” or “Master’s Degree,” major in journalism or English literature, GPA 3.5 or better.  (Why the surprise? Higher expectations.  Engineers and others from a technical background frequently crack jokes in our workshops about their inability to write.)

 

Back to the excerpts I’ve been reading this past couple of weeks:

“I strive to be a trendsetter and provide the best professional customer service in any profession that I obtain. While being a trendsetter trying new tasks and welcoming many challenges has been a success for me.” (How’s that again?)

 

“Looking for full or part-time work that will exemplify my upbeat demeanor, communication skills, and tenacious attention to details.” (The work will exemplify his demeanor?)

 

“Objective:  To obtain a position which would utilize my business, legal knowledge and accounting skills, as well as my ability to build good people relationships.”   (The position is going to use these skills?  And what other kinds of relationships are there besides people relationships?)

 

“To obtain a challenging position within a company for advancement with the use of my skills and ability to multi-task.” (I guess, maybe?) 

 

“I am currently seeking a professional, developing opportunity for growth where I can learn and excel in every aspect of the workplace. I openly welcome a career that will strengthen and enhance the knowledge in which I’ve already acquired, while creating new challenges for me to overcome.”   (okay, well, then.)

Such résumés make us chuckle.  Then they make us sad for the state of our education system.  Then they make us really worry about any family members and friends with such poor writing skills who are looking for jobs because they have huge hurdles to overcome before they’ll ever get the chance to tell a prospective employer what they can do otherwise.

 

And finally, such résumés should make you exuberant if you yourself write well and are job hunting.  Your résumé should stand out like a floodlight during a blackout.

Posted at 10:38am in Communication—Written | Permalink | Add Comment » |

This month’s Communication Tip highlights the importance of making your bottom-line your opening line in your business presentations.

If you’ve heard—or used—a great opening line, please share it with us!  Enter it as a comment below.

The person with the best entry will receive a free copy of my “Powerful Sit-Down Presentations” eBook.

Posted at 1:56pm in General Communication | Permalink | 14 Comments |

Maybe you’ve seen this commercial already for theLadders.com, the online job site exclusively for $100K candidates looking for $100K jobs.  (www.theladders.com)

The commercial opens with a tennis match in progress.  But soon you discover the two players on the court can’t return the ball to each other because random people start running onto the court and getting in their way—very unsuitable people, inappropriately dressed for the game, overweight and out of shape, without the proper tennis equipment, unfocused and, in fact, some putting on makeup in center court.  Random balls are bouncing to and fro across the net.  Hundreds of would-be players are slamming into each other, swinging rackets and briefcases in all directions, trying to hit odd balls every which way. 

The real players stand aside, amazed at the chaos on the court.

In about the last 10 seconds of the commercial, the voice-over says, “If you think about it, this is the trouble with most job search sites:  When you let everyone play, nobody wins.”  The website address appears on the screen, along with the text:  “The most $100K+ jobs.”  Fade to end.

Classy.  Clear. Concise. Memorable. The tennis scene says it all.  Exactly what a presentation visual should be.  

The next time you’re creating a presentation and tempted to resort to a bulleted word list, keep this commercial in mind. 

Posted at 4:12pm in General Communication, Potpourri | Permalink | Add Comment » |