Booher BanterBusiness Communication Consultant

The executive vice president of a large oil company called the director of HR with this request:  “We’re opening up a new call center this year, and we’re going to need you to help get it staffed. But I’ve already got the person in mind for the director’s job.”

“Okay.  Great.  Who’s that?”

“Donna ___________.”

“Donna _______?    Why, she’s just an admin!  I don’t see her as qualified at all.  The director’s position would be at a middle management grade, at least.”

“That’s for you to determine.  But that’s who I want in there.”

To the astonishment of the HR director, the executive continued his explanation of seeing Donna’s competence in her ability to articulate ideas in a couple of meetings when her boss was out of town and she’d been sent as his representative.

She got the promotion.

To present your own ideas with equal impact, consider these tips:

Be Obscure.

Try the direct-mail approach. Start with a provocative or intriguing statement to get people’s attention and whet their appetites for the main course. “So maybe we should hire only those with no experience in this industry.” “I’ve got an idea—let’s beat them at their own game.” When the point’s “not all there,” you’ll grab people’s attention for your elaboration to follow.

Start With What’s on Their Mind—Not Yours.

If you want to grab attention for your ideas, you have to start where people are and lead them to where you stand, not expect them to meet you halfway. What policy is bothering them? What do they fear might happen tomorrow? What frustrates them today? Start there and tie your idea into that concern or hope.

Stand if You Want to Convey Authority and/or Underscore the Importance of an Issue.

When someone “rises to the occasion,” others generally settle back and give him or her the floor. The group dynamics change from an informal team discussion to a formal presentation. A formal presentation says three things: “I already have an opinion on this issue,” “I am well prepared with supporting details,” and “The issue is bigger and more important than the routine ones we deal with.” From your physically elevated position, your words take on more authority; the group is likely to grant you control of the meeting, even if only temporarily.

One word of caution:  As a result of all these dynamics, you probably will get less feedback on your idea. Those who support it will withhold their comments, thinking that you obviously sound authoritative and need no help in garnering others’ opinions. Those who disagree with you may hate to buck authority before an audience; they often save their negative comments for the hallways. You can sometimes have it both ways by presenting your proposal standing up and then taking a seat for the follow-up discussion and turning over the facilitation to someone else.

Present Your Proposal Only One Way, and Be Specific.

When you’re courting several people with differing viewpoints, it’s natural to think that the more general you can make your idea, the more “hooks” you’re creating for people to latch onto. In that effort, you tend to explain your idea first one way and then another. You use this analogy and that. You think maybe this and maybe that would be part of the final product. Often, the intention of the elaboration is to offer something that will appeal to everybody.

A broad, generally expressed idea, however, usually has the opposite effect: everybody hears something that they disagree with. And you wind up spending more time dealing with the minor details and “what you didn’t mean to imply” than you do with the gist of the idea. The group has the sense that your proposal has been thrashed to death, when in reality only the chaff around it has been discarded. Prefer, instead, to propose the idea succinctly, in only one specific way. Let it stand there in all its glory until people force you to add details by their questions.

Make Abstractions “Hit the Gut.”

Accept the fact that we don’t make all our decisions based on logic. When people get emotional about an issue, accept that emotion, show that you understand it, and then, when they regain their composure, ask if they can share the reasons for those feelings. When it’s in your interest to do so, play to others’ emotions. Abstractions are difficult for people to rally around. Tie them to specifics so that people “feel” an issue. For example, if you want your team to provide input into designing your corporate policy concerning charitable contributions, don’t deal with nameless agencies and noble causes. Talk about specific people who benefit from these contributions and specific agencies that will be receiving the money allocated by the policy your team helps draft. If you generate appropriate emotion, “dull” tasks can take on new life and importance.

Don’t Withdraw Your Proposal Simply for the Sake of Harmony.

Encourage others to express either support or disagreement, but don’t let people turn down an idea simply because “someone doesn’t like it.” Ask for supporting explanations.  If you’re going to toss out an idea, support it until someone changes your mind.

If You Can’t Manage a Touchdown, Try for a First Down.

If you can see that your idea will not be accepted in total, settle for measured success. Suggest that the team give you the go-ahead in a limited way. Ask for a “test run” at some phase of the project “before too much money is spent.” All you may need is a little running room to prove that your idea or plan has merit. Don’t give up simply because you don’t make a touchdown with the first play.

Above all, be flexible on the issues.   We’re not talking about flip-flopping like the politicians do—whatever the polls support today, they “believe” tomorrow. Instead, be open to the facts and flexible in your feedback. The purpose of meetings—most staff meetings, anyway—is to exchange ideas. If someone presents facts and sways your opinion, don’t hesitate to change your position. That’s not weakness; it’s democracy.

Dianna Booher, an expert in executive communications, is the author of 45 books, published in 26 countries and 20 languages.  Her latest books include Creating Personal Presence: Look, Talk, Think, and Act Like a Leader and Communicate with Confidence, Revised Edition. As CEO of Booher Consultants and as a high-caliber keynote speaker, Dianna and her staff travel worldwide to deliver focused speeches and training programs to address specific communication challenges and increase effectiveness in oral, written, interpersonal, and organizational communication.   www.booher.com

Related articles

• Communication Skills: Series on Contributing Valuable Ideas in Meetings – Part 1: 9 Tips to Keep Your Ideas from Being Ignored, Discredited, or Stolen in Meetings (booher.com)
• Communication Skills: Contributing Your Valuable Ideas in Meetings – Series Part 2: 7 Don’ts to Keep Colleagues from Hating You in Meetings (booher.com)
• Communicate With Confidence®: A Long List of Career Payoffs

Share and Enjoy

Posted at 9:16am in Communication—Interpersonal, Communication—Oral, Successful Meetings | Permalink | 25 Comments |

• “People digress.  They talk all around an idea, and I often miss their point.”
• “Some people don’t pay attention to where we are in the process. It’s like they’re ten minutes behind in the discussion we’re having.”
• “You can’t get people to speak up in the meeting; then they go out in the hallway and whine about what was decided.”
• “A few people dominate.  Others never open their mouths.”
• “You can’t get people to agree and come to a decision.”

Don’t be the culprit.  Here are a few specific don’ts to keep you in their good graces:

Omit War Stories.

When you have an audience of admirers, don’t yield to the temptation to tell war stories, share inside jokes, and recount wonderful things you once did. Unless time is of no importance to the rest of the group, don’t.

Don’t Ask a Question Simply to Ask a Question.

Some team members become uncomfortable with silence. So when a colleague tosses out an idea, they feel compelled “to get the ball rolling” by asking a question. Don’t. If you really don’t have a legitimate question and don’t care about the issue one way or the other, don’t add to the problem by opening your mouth. Hours have been lost by people chasing down answers to questions that should never have been asked and that bear little or no relevance to the decision or problem.

Don’t Build Your Case—For or Against—on Secondhand Information.

When Helena says that Jack said that Lana thinks, stop right there. If the information is crucial to the decision, verify it. Make a phone call or postpone the discussion until the relayed information can be verified.

Don’t Sound Like a Broken Record.

Present your idea and support it. After a fair hearing, if the group nixes it, move on. Nothing irritates others more than having someone continue to bring up a pet proposal or peeve and whine, whine, whine.

Don’t Derail Others’ Proposals While They’re Still on Track.

Follow what’s going on before you propose something new. If you really want to upset a crowd, let a speaker propose an idea, with all the related facts and analysis, ask for discussion, and get just to the point of calling for a decision. . . and then interrupt with a proposal of your own. Instead, pay attention to the logical process and avoid bringing up out-of-order issues and ideas. After you get past the idea stage and into the proposing stage, let the first proposal work its way through the group discussion and be accepted or rejected before you toss out your alternative.

Don’t Invalidate Others’ Feelings.

Examples: “Kabrielle, I don’t know why you’re so punchy about that.” “Jennifer, there’s no reason to get so defensive.” “It’ll be okay, Javier; really, it will.” To say or imply that people don’t have a right to their feelings upsets them even more—at you.

Don’t Engage in a One-on-One Battle.

Avoid letting a discussion degenerate into dialogue with only one other person. Inevitably, others in the group become on-lookers and begin to take sides. Then the opposing ideas become an ego issue, and the discussion has a winner and loser. Bad for morale. When you realize that only you and one other person remain in the discussion, say something like: “Well, let’s open it up again. Charles, you said . . . , and Eugenia, you mentioned that . . .” The idea is to leave the impression that all have contributed to the exchange and that you are conceding to the group opinion.

Dianna Booher, an expert in executive communications, is the author of 45 books, published in 26 countries and 20 languages.  Her latest books include Creating Personal Presence: Look, Talk, Think, and Act Like a Leader and Communicate with Confidence, Revised Edition. As CEO of Booher Consultants and as a high-caliber keynote speaker, Dianna and her staff travel worldwide to deliver focused speeches and training programs to address specific communication challenges and increase effectiveness in oral, written, interpersonal, and organizational communication.   www.booher.com

Related articles

• Communication Skills: Series on Contributing Valuable Ideas in Meetings – Part 1: 9 Tips to Keep Your Ideas from Being Ignored, Discredited, or Stolen in Meetings (booher.com)
• Communicate With Confidence®: A Long List of Career Payoffs

Related articles

• Communication Skills: Meeting Series: Contributing Valuable Ideas In Meetings – Series Part 3: 7 Tips to Get Your Point Across in Meetings (booher.com)
• Personal Presence: What’s the Perception of Yours? (booher.com)

Share and Enjoy

Posted at 9:44am in Communication—Interpersonal, Communication—Oral, Meetings | Permalink | Add Comment » |

Business meetings that make the marketplace go around.

About this time of the month, you’ve probably scheduled a calendar full of meetings to kick off the new year—strategic initiatives sessions for the new year, budget discussions, marketing meetings.  If you’re not participating in a typical New-Year-New-Organization marathon of meetings, consider the routine business meetings that make the marketplace go around.

If you’ve ever complained that you can’t get in a word edgewise in your typical team meeting, you’re not alone.  Or maybe you identify with this comment from someone in a recent training program: “I’m tired of having my ideas ignored.  Then ten minutes later, somebody else says virtually the same thing, and the boss jumps on it like it’s brilliant.”

If you yourself have ever had the urge to interrupt with, “Stop!  I just said that 5 minutes ago. Weren’t you listening?” you may find the following tips useful.

Forget the Warm-Up Drill.
Ever since students first learned the five-paragraph essay format, teachers have required introductory paragraphs.  Some business professionals remain in that rut. Forget a long introduction when you’re offering informal comments. Start at the point of new information or the new idea. Then pause and take your cue from others. If they want elaboration, add it. If they have questions, answer them. If they nod agreement, you’ve made your point.

Use Another’s Question as Your Platform.
Look for someone’s question as an invitation to speak up. Have your prepared message ready, and step in when someone raises an appropriate question. You’ll be accomplishing your goals on someone else’s airtime.

Avoid Letting Others Put Words in Your Mouth.
If you’ve expressed an idea that someone feels the need to “interpret” for the group, don’t let him misquote or misinterpret you. Example: “No, Bill, that isn’t exactly what I meant. What I meant was….” “Wait a minute. I said it exactly as I intended to. I’m saying that . . .” “Not exactly, Sarah. Maybe I was unclear. Let me put it like this . . .” Only you know what you mean to say. Say it directly without an interpreter.

Or you may choose to prevent an interruption with body language and voice. Raise your hand to the interrupter and continue to speak at the same or a louder volume. Keep talking until the interrupter realizes that you do not intend to relinquish the floor.

Support, Explain, or Reject Only One Idea at a Time.
Poorly facilitated meetings encourage people to dump everything once they finally get the floor. That is, because you’ve had to wait so long to get airtime, once it’s granted, you may feel like dumping your ideas about everything that has been said so far. Don’t dump. Unload your thoughts on only one issue at a time, and then get off the court. If people learn to trust that you’re not going to sidetrack them by dealing with several issues at once, they’ll let you take the court more often.

Talk With, Not to the Group.
Consider yourself as being in a conversation with more than one person rather than “addressing a group.” Pause to let others speak or ask questions if necessary for clarification as you move through your ideas. Use “we” and “us” rather than “you” and “I.” Use terms that others will understand rather than lapsing into jargon. Make eye contact with everyone around the table rather than reading from your notes or staring at the floor, the ceiling, or your favored ally.

Disagree Without Being Disagreeable.
Never let yourself become a victim of groupthink, a condition in which group harmony becomes more important than results. If the purpose of a meeting is to generate ideas and get input, by all means speak up when you disagree. Just don’t be disagreeable. The difference is attitude.

Lighten Up—The Point Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect.
Not all platforms and purposes are created equal. Your career will not rise or fall based on the interactions in every meeting. If a particular meeting is not necessarily “yours,” jump in and participate—even without thorough preparation. Spontaneity still succeeds.

Dianna Booher, an expert in executive communications, is the author of 45 books, published in 26 countries and 20 languages.  Her latest books include Creating Personal Presence: Look, Talk, Think, and Act Like a Leader and Communicate with Confidence, Revised Edition. As CEO of Booher Consultants and as a high-caliber keynote speaker, Dianna and her staff travel worldwide to deliver focused speeches and training programs to address specific communication challenges and increase effectiveness in oral, written, interpersonal, and organizational communication.   www.booher.com

Share and Enjoy

Posted at 9:03am in Communication—Oral, General Communication, Meetings | Permalink | Add Comment » |

Share and Enjoy

Posted at 10:33am in Job Search | Permalink | 14 Comments |

It’s rare that people communicate with the intention to offend others. They do it because they lack awareness. But that doesn’t excuse the poor use of language any more than the poor judgment of a mother who decides to leave her sleeping toddler in the car alone in 105 degree heat while she has lunch in the mall with a friend.

Common sense, along with sensitivity, comes into play in both situations. Consider the following tips for more inclusive language.

Expand Your World Beyond “Normal” and Everybody Else
Take care about language that puts people into categories, making them feel that they fall outside the norm. After all, unless you’ve done a survey or have data at hand, keep in mind that the norm changes frequently. Avoid labeling those with disabilities as “invalids,” “handicapped,” “crippled,” “mute,” “dumb,” or “wheelchair bound.” Instead, simply say, “You’ll recognize Sheila when you meet the group in the lobby. She has cerebral palsy,” or, “Mark is without speech,” or, “Tony uses a wheelchair for mobility.”

Think “People Before Label” When You Are Aware of a Physical Difference
You would never say, “You’ll need to talk to the Japanese guy, Hachiro.” Instead, you’d say, “You’ll need to talk to Hachiro.” You might or might not mention that he’s Japanese, depending on whether you wanted to help someone pick him out in a crowd of people of other nationalities. Likewise, avoid classifying people by their disability. Not: “Walter is a disabled person, so we’ll need to make sure that we have wheelchair access to the stage.” But: “Walter has a disability, so we’ll need to make sure that we have wheelchair access to the stage.”

Don’t Turn Up the Volume or Speak More Slowly to Those with Physical Limitations
Avoid speaking to those with physical disabilities at a louder volume (unless, of course, they have a hearing impairment) or by speaking more slowly than you would to someone with no physical disability. This odd reaction reflects more on the speaker than on the individual with a disability.

Relax and Be Reasonable
Recently, after I left the stage where I was speaking, a group of well-wishers from the audience lined up to ask questions. An attractive woman of about 50, seated in a wheelchair, waited at the end of the line until all the others had left the room. She introduced herself as a manager in a pharmaceutical company.

Here was her question and comment: “How can I put people more at ease when they’re around me? At staff meetings, when I accompany them on a sales call to a client, or when we all go out to lunch, people just seem nervous—as if they don’t know what to do and don’t want to offend. We come near to a door, and they look at me in a panic, like: ‘What should I do?’ Should they open it for me, or not? Ask me? Push me through it? If I drop papers all over the floor, should they pick them up for me or not? How can I get them to relax and treat me just the way they would treat any other person—just to use common sense?”

Indeed. And I imagine that her situation is not all that uncommon. If you’re unsure what someone needs, simply ask as you would any other person: “Need help with that?” Or simply respond to the situation as you would with anyone else and follow the other person’s lead for the future.

Show goodwill, and the person with a disability will forgive almost anything. But use inclusive language, and you’ll remove barriers and increase everyone’s comfort.

Dianna Booher, an expert in executive communications, is the author of 45 books, published in 26 countries and 20 languages.  Her latest books include Creating Personal Presence: Look, Talk, Think, and Act Like a Leader and Communicate with Confidence, Revised Edition. As CEO of Booher Consultants and as a high-caliber keynote speaker, Dianna and her staff travel worldwide to deliver focused speeches and training programs to address specific communication challenges and increase effectiveness in oral, written, interpersonal, and organizational communication.   www.booher.com

Share and Enjoy

Posted at 11:04am in General Communication | Permalink | 2 Comments |

Ask lawyers, engineers, or systems analysts which creates the most frustration and failure—the technical part of their job or dealing with people? They’ll agree on the latter. Technical competence is a given or you couldn’t get past the gatekeepers and screeners. Communicating about that technical work is your basic business act. How well you do it gains attention and either earns you promotions or gets you the boot.

So how do you measure your success on that score? Consider the response you get. Are you having the desired effect on people? In other words, …

––Are you making them think, feel, or do something you want?

––What seems to be their impression of you?

––Do others try to dominate you, control you, or just ignore you?

––How easily do you connect with others online using Twitter or LinkedIn groups or other internal social media?

––Can you work effectively in groups?

––Does your team accomplish its goals with a minimum of clashes?

––Do you weigh others’ words and understand and evaluate their messages appropriately?

––Do you always feel that others give your ideas a fair hearing in meetings?

––Do your teleconferences clarify or convolute issues and people?

––Do you understand the subtleties of what people are saying?

––Can you read and listen clearly between the lines?

––How easily do you resolve conflict to everyone’s satisfaction and reach the desired goal?

Failure to communicate is the frustration of modern management, the dating scene, and the family dinner table. Over time, all human relationships depend on the sum total of these interactions stacked end to end.

World leaders create a crisis or alter world events as they and their supporters posture and persuade through their social media posts.Their communication skills and personal presence can end a meeting or start a movement with an apt phrase or an inappropriate shrug.

The workplace is no different. According to the latest crop of CEO surveys (from IBM, PriceWaterhouseCoopers, Wyatt Watson), communication skills once again fall in the top three slots of most critical skills for leaders. The American Management Association also surveyed more than 2,000 senior managers in 2010 as part of their Critical Skills Survey. Respondents predicted that communication skills would be the top employee development priority for the immediate future, cited by 41 percent of the managers surveyed.

Now, more than ever, you have to

• Use a variety of media and formats to communicate your message
• Build rapport with globally diverse groups
• Establish your credibility and expertise in a larger context and be accountable to more people for results. That is, you can’t just focus on welding a widget or marketing a magnet and go home. You have to understand why that widget or magnet meets the customer’s needs and continually come up with ways to produce it better, faster, and cheaper—or the organization will be looking for somebody who can keep the big picture in mind.

Wherever you work and whatever you do, you have to be able to gather information, analyze it, summarize it, and present it so that others can digest it and use it for decision making.

What’s the payoff for better communication? Productivity, profitability, and personal satisfaction.

When it comes to communication and connection, the question isn’t, “Who needs to improve?” The question is, “Who doesn’t?”

Challenge Question: What’s a frequent communication issue that surfaces among your colleagues? What solutions have you tried?

Dianna Booher, an expert in executive communications, is the author of 45 books, published in 25 countries and 19 languages.  Her latest books include Creating Personal Presence: Look, Talk, Think, and Act Like a Leader and Communicate with Confidence, Revised Edition. As CEO of Booher Consultants and as a high-caliber keynote speaker, Dianna and her staff travel worldwide to deliver focused speeches and training programs to address specific communication challenges and increase effectiveness in oral, written, interpersonal, and organizational communication.   www.booher.com

Share and Enjoy

Posted at 8:27am in General Communication | Permalink | 2 Comments |

“It’s not polite to sing at the table.” Although my mom taught me that rule of etiquette as a child, it never made much sense to me. Actually, if the truth be known, I’m betting that many a mom sang as she flew “airplanes” disguised as spoons into her petulant preschooler’s mouth.

On the other hand, “Write thank-you notes when you receive a gift” makes perfect sense. It’s always in good taste to show gratitude. And based on common sense, “Chew with your mouth closed” certainly ranks near the top of the etiquette list. Who wants to look into a mouthful of slobber and goulash while somebody talks?

So generally, common sense dictates what constitutes acceptable behavior among civilized, educated people. Those who behave outside the norms create negative impressions of themselves. If you go too far outside the norms, people began to punish you by withdrawing invitations, withholding promotions, and limiting their interactions with you.

In case your invitation to the royal wedding of Duke William and Duchess Catherine of Cambridge got lost in the mail last spring, you may be a little foggy on the current protocol for formal events and holiday parties. Well, never mind.

Rarely, do I go to such formal affairs with heads of state and foreign dignataries. (Well, okay, never.)

But I do get my share of holiday parties, Super Bowl invitations, weddings, anniversary parties, showers, and business networking events. You too? And I frequently hear hosts complain about the rudeness of guests (the ones who violate the following rules). That wouldn’t be you, of course. But just in case you know someone who falls into this category, you may want to tweet this along before your next event.

Accept or Decline All Invitations Promptly

When you wait longer than a week to reply when RSVPs are requested, the host may wonder whether you’re waiting for a better offer to come along. Hosts must plan the menu, pay for the food for each attendee, and in some cases rent serving dishes and furniture for a specific number of guests. If the host has to contact you to ask whether you’re attending, you have committed a major faux pas.

Decline an Invitation With a Brief Explanation to Add a Touch of Class

It’s certainly acceptable to decline an invitation with a simple, “No, thanks, I will not be able to attend.” Although not a must, adding a brief explanation about a conflict in your schedule (if it’s truthful) adds warmth to the no. Of course, sometimes an online form that allows you only to click a button doesn’t provide space for an explanation. In that case, sending an extra email or note with an explanation acknowledges your interest in the people or the cause behind the invitation.

Be Present When You Show Up

When you attend an event, turn off all the gadgets and get in the spirit of the thing. What host wants to have guests who stand in the corner and hang on their cell phone all evening? Or who wants guests who pop in for 15 minutes, only to announce that they were late and are leaving early because they have more important places to be and people to see? If you’re going to show up, join in. Don’t make your attendance sound like an obligatory duty.

Never Bring Unexpected Guests With You

It may be that you’ve accepted an invitation to a social or business event, and then your own unexpected guest shows up on the day or weekend of the event. Never put your host on the spot by calling to ask if you can bring your guest along. And never simply fail to show up without explanation. The host has probably already paid for the food and planned space for a specific number of attendees. Instead, call the host and decline with your explanation.

Then wait to hear the response. If the host accepts your regrets, thank her and hang up. But if there’s extra food, other last-minute cancellations, and plenty of room, the host may be gracious and extend the invitation to both of you. Go. You’re all set.

Never Complain About the Venue, the Food, or the Entertainment

Even when you’re attending a business affair, someone—a meeting planner, assistant, or assigned person whose regular job happens to be bookkeeping or bridge building––has planned the event. Whining about the wine, bad-mouthing the band, or making fun of the food puts you in a category of complainers who are not highly popular back on the job.

Send a Thank-You Note, Email, Card, or Small Gift After the Event

Be sincere, be specific about what you enjoyed, and be prompt. A note that arrives 10 days later looks like “my mom made me write it.”

In the words of Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas: “Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot.”

Dianna Booher, an expert in executive communications, is the author of 45 books, published in 25 countries and 19 languages.  Her latest books include Creating Personal Presence: Look, Talk, Think, and Act Like a Leader and Communicate with Confidence, Revised Edition. As CEO of Booher Consultants and as a high-caliber keynote speaker, Dianna and her staff travel worldwide to deliver focused speeches and training programs to address specific communication challenges and increase effectiveness in oral, written, interpersonal, and organizational communication.   www.booher.com

Share and Enjoy

Posted at 8:31am in Communication—Interpersonal | Permalink | 2 Comments |

At some point in their career, nearly all successful professionals either realize better communication skills can increase their ability to lead more effectively––or understand that poor communication is limiting their influence and results.

Like fitness, better communication becomes a life-long pursuit.

That’s the why behind my book, Communicate with Confidence! How to Say It Right the First Time and Every Time.  This week McGraw-Hill has released the Revised and Expanded Edition, containing 1,255 tips covering just about every aspect of interpersonal communication. You’ll find tips, techniques, and examples to help you—

• Build credibility with coworkers and customers.
• Develop more intimate relationships.
• Build consensus for decisions.
• Lead and participate in more effective meetings.
• Save time and energy, reduce rework, and increase productivity with clear instructions and discussions.
• Avoid needless arguments.
• Overcome paralyzing anger, fear, or shyness.
• Give constructive feedback and coaching.
• Respond to feedback and criticism appropriately.
• Solicit helpful advice when it’s not readily forthcoming.
• Negotiate for what you want without diminishing the other person.
• Give and accept appropriate praise and compliments.
• Manage your own conflicts without escalating them.
• Mediate others’ conflicts without getting burned yourself.
• Influence and motivate others without strong-arm tactics.
• Find ways to “work around” difficult personalities.
• Generate enthusiasm for your ideas and proposals.
• Defend your rights without manipulating or offending others.
• Handle insults, sarcasm, or other verbal assaults with style.
• Listen better so that others feel understood and valued.
• Generate meaningful or entertaining conversations—even if you’re shy.
• Reduce cross-gender misunderstandings and conflicts because of style differences.
• Understand meanings and intentions from those of other cultures.
• Update your understanding of current rules of etiquette online and face to face.

“Dianna Booher produced a tremendous resource with the first edition of this book – but I’m confident this new version will be a classic.  Well organized, practical, comprehensive advice.” –Harvey Mackay, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Swim With The Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive

“Communicate With Confidence! is the best communication book I have seen. It teaches you specific ways to give and accept criticism, praise, and thanks. It covers how to chit-chat and how to conduct meetings. It teaches you how to communicate one on one and how to communicate as part of a team. If you want to be more effective in your interpersonal relationships in the future, this is a must read.”

––Ken Blanchard, coauthor of The One Minute Manager^® and Full Steam Ahead!

Communicate with Confidence! is an extraordinary book. There is absolutely nothing else like it. It’s the clearest, most comprehensive, and most credible guide to persuasive and authentic communication available today. Dianna Booher is the master of her message and her medium. With 1,255 highly practical tips on everything from asking questions and listening, to resolving conflicts and responding to insults, Communicate with Confidence! is an indispensable resource on a vital leadership competency by the leading authority on the subject. Whether you’re a manager, coach, teacher, team member, or parent, you can open it to any page and find wise and expert advice. After you’ve read it once, I’m confident you’ll be consulting it frequently. Do not hesitate. Read it today, and put it to use immediately.”

––Jim Kouzes, coauthor of The Leadership Challenge and Credibility
The Dean’s Executive Fellow of Leadership, Leavey School of Business, Santa Clara University

“Fully 85 percent of your success in life is contained in your ability to communicate effectively with other people. Dianna Booher’s Communicate With Confidence!  is full of proven, practical ways to get your point across quickly and stand out in every conversation. This book should be read and re-read over and over again!”

––Brian Tracy, bestselling author of How the Best Leaders Lead, Goals!, and Eat That Frog

Dianna Booher, an expert in executive communications, is the author of 45 books, published in 25 countries and 19 languages.  Her latest books include Creating Personal Presence: Look, Talk, Think, and Act Like a Leader and Communicate with Confidence, Revised Edition. As CEO of Booher Consultants and as a high-caliber keynote speaker, Dianna and her staff travel worldwide to deliver focused speeches and training programs to address specific communication challenges and increase effectiveness in oral, written, interpersonal, and organizational communication.   www.booher.com

Share and Enjoy

Posted at 2:01pm in General Communication | Permalink | Add Comment » |

“I’m just about to go into a meeting,” somebody says to you. Do they mean “with people down the hall” or “with people in Beijing and Biloxi?”

With no definitive studies on the issue, my guess is that we have as many teleconferences today as face-to-face meetings. But attendees often leave teleconferences with far less clarity about who said what when, as well how they plan to follow up. Why? It’s the mechanics of the communication that confuses.

Here are a few tips that can make your teleconference more productive and less stressful.

Mute Yourself on a Conference Call, Webinar, or Teleseminar

Unless you’re speaking, use the mute button to block background noises. Otherwise, other callers on the line can hear all sorts of strange, interrupting noises: barking dogs, construction crews working next door, people popping into your doorway to say hello, your opening your drawer for a tissue or a pen, paper shuffling, computer keys clicking.

I was once on a teleseminar in which someone’s heavy breathing became so loud that the host asked a couple of times for all of us to mute ourselves. Finally, when the loud breathing didn’t grow quieter, the host had to announce point-blank, “Someone is breathing heavily into the phone and making it difficult for others to hear. Please put yourself on mute.” Evidently that caller had fallen asleep, because it took three such direct pleas before the caller muted himself.

Announce Yourself at the Appropriate Time on a Conference Call

Like the baby bear’s porridge, you want to announce yourself just right. Not too early. Not too late. Just right. Don’t announce yourself immediately when you enter because you may interrupt the ongoing chitchat among other early arrivers. Neither do you want to lurk in the silence without announcing yourself. That’s like eavesdropping from outside the door. Enter the call, wait for a few seconds until there’s a lull in the conversation, and then announce your name.

Repeat Your Name When There Are Multiple Strangers on the Line

You can’t tell the players without a program. So with multiple people on a call, before you speak each time, restate your name. It’s difficult to keep straight who said what when you can’t see faces. However, because your colleagues may forget to do so, you may want to make yourself a voice chart during the “introductions” part of the call. Jot down any distinctions about a person’s voice to help you recognize who’s talking. For example, Jennifer—southern drawl; Nick—Boston accent; Ava—screechy pitch; Heather—hoarse; Bilton––tentative tone/shy.

Say Goodbye If You Must Leave a Meeting

“What do you think about that plan, Juan? Juan? Are you there? “Did Juan leave?” “Did Juan say he had to leave early?” “He didn’t mention it.” “When did he leave?” “Was he on the line when we discussed who should be responsible for notifying the crew in Chicago?” “I don’t know.” “I think he heard the part about the budget.” “Well, if he wasn’t, somebody needs to get him up to speed, because ….”

You get the picture. Don’t leave your colleagues in the dark without warning. And if you know ahead of time that you’ll be leaving the meeting early, tell them so upfront. Otherwise, if your departure later falls during a heated discussion, they may think you left because you got upset.

Lighten up—but aim not to confuse or tick people off by overlooking the simple mechanics that make teleconferences work well. While typically not as much fun as snacks and banter in the boardroom, teleconferences can be as engaging and productive.

Dianna Booher, an expert in executive communications, is the author of 45 books, published in 25 countries and 19 languages.  Her latest books include Creating Personal Presence: Look, Talk, Think, and Act Like a Leader and Communicate with Confidence, Revised Edition. As CEO of Booher Consultants and as a high-caliber keynote speaker, Dianna and her staff travel worldwide to deliver focused speeches and training programs to address specific communication challenges and increase effectiveness in oral, written, interpersonal, and organizational communication.   www.booher.com

Share and Enjoy

Posted at 7:30am in Communication—Oral | Permalink | 5 Comments |

#10—An expression of gratitude would give you something to tweet about this Thanksgiving season rather than delayed flights, leftover turkey, or your loud-mouthed Uncle Harvey.

#9––A poem, song, quote, or rap of gratitude will generate more feedback as a blog, Facebook post, or YouTube video than a complaint about your workload or ingrown toenail.

#8––Thanking your in-laws for their encouragement through the years would make them wonder what gift you’re about to add to your Christmas list. But it might do wonders for your marriage.

#7––Expressing your sincere appreciation to your family for their support in your career success will set an example of gratitude for your kids about the value of “one for all and all for one” family relationships.

#6–– Communicating gratitude to your employer for your job might focus your own attention on the positives there rather than the negatives at a time when so many people find themselves without work. Who knows, the honest expression of gratitude might even make your boss a better leader and result in his or her recognizing greater value in what you contribute to the team.

#5–– Communicating gratitude to community officials will help them feel good about contributing 110 percent to their job as leaders. It will certainly make them think twice about their decisions affecting you.

#4–– Communicating thanks to your parents for a positive upbringing will put a spring in their step and joy in their heart. Said often enough, it could even add years to their life: According to the Proverb: “A merry heart does good like a medicine.”

#3––Communicating gratitude to your kids for their attention and effort to build a solid character will let them know what’s most important in life.

#2––Communicating gratitude to your family will let them know you don’t take them for granted. You don’t, do you?

#1––Communicating gratitude to God will remind you that He’s the source of all good things in life. When is the last time you prayed and didn’t ask for something?

Dianna Booher, an expert in executive communications, is the author of 45 books, published in 25 countries and 19 languages.  Her latest books include Creating Personal Presence: Look, Talk, Think, and Act Like a Leader and Communicate with Confidence, Revised Edition. As CEO of Booher Consultants and as a high-caliber keynote speaker, Dianna and her staff travel worldwide to deliver focused speeches and training programs to address specific communication challenges and increase effectiveness in oral, written, interpersonal, and organizational communication.   www.booher.com

Share and Enjoy

Posted at 8:09am in Communication—Interpersonal | Permalink | 2 Comments |