Customers communicate dissatisfaction—one way or the other. You’ll generally come out ahead if they tell the problem to you directly rather than to the rest of the world. Here’s what happened to United Airlines when they ignored Dave Carroll’s efforts to communicate the problem about his damaged guitar.
On the other hand, here’s what happens when clients and suppliers communicate:
We’ve had a vacancy in our office building for almost a year. Yet our cleaning service has been charging the same price for cleaning the entire building despite having no tenant in half the office space. In past years, they’ve declined to lower the price, saying it was an “all or nothing” contract for the entire building. Today, I communicated my intention to either get the price lowered for cleaning less space or shop the contract to other bidders. The supplier was immediately willing to renegotiate the price. He kept the contract. We kept a good supplier.
Customers talk—either to you or the rest of the world. Which will it be? And what will they say?
My friend Dennis asked me to speak to his class of graduate students at a local university this week on the topic of business communication. It’s not like I’m looking for places to speak, being on an airplane far more days than I care to count. But I hadn’t seen the friend in a while, nor had I been in a college classroom in X@#& years, so I decided to see what these graduate students had on their minds.
I spoke. They asked questions. We had a great discussion. They had nice things to say afterward. I left.
The next day, I get an email from Dennis thanking me again and passing along more of the comments from his students about my session. But one summary comment from my friend really caught my attention: “My students were really blown away by the fact that you used so few visuals in the entire hour–and they were all photos! No bullet points. They were amazed at how engaged they were.”
He went on to explain that in his Mass Communication class he had already had a difficult time trying to wean them away from the overuse of slides with heavy text. Why am I not surprised? Bad habits are contagious. Most of these grad students have already entered the workforce. They see slide slush from their colleagues daily.
So why are many people tempted to use slides when they don’t need them?
Slides become the presenter’s notes. If you need slides to keep you on track, you’re not properly prepared. Outline, yes. But a keyword outline will do the trick nicely–and much quicker. Glance at a word to bring a “chunk” of information to mind. Then elaborate. But don’t build a boring slideshow when a word will trigger your memory.
Slides help your audience to follow your presentation. If listeners can’t grasp your key points, then either 1) your presentation isn’t arranged well or 2) your talk isn’t engaging or 3) you need better transitions and summary statements.
Slides add pizazz. True. But so does an earthquake, or a fire alarm, or a magic act. You need impact for your point. If the slide adds to the understanding, learning, or retention, use it. But if the slide only calls attention to itself rather than the message, drop it.
With all the leftover time not spent on building slideshows, you can always do more research on your topic or practice your delivery–an engaging effort.
Levi Johntson must have texted a powerful apology to Bristol Palin. After going on TV and talk radio across the country for the past 18 months to bad-mouth her family, that apology sealed him his engagement—and, according to some media rumors, an upcoming reality TV show.
Whatever.
My point? Situations calling for a public apology come and go about once a month. Some rock star, athlete, or politician gets caught shoplifting, driving drunk, doing drugs, having an affair, taking a bribe, or uttering embarrassing comments over an open microphone, and the public becomes outraged. The public persona and principles preached don’t match the private behavior.
What further enrages us about such situations is that typically the celebrity involved first takes the stance: “It’s none of your business.” When that line doesn’t work, he or she tries to make excuses, “I was drunk/stoned/conned/didn’t know that blah, blah, blah …” fill in the blanks. When those excuses don’t calm the waters, they finally come out with a belated apology. Life goes back to normal. We once again buy their music, see their movies, go to their ball games, or elect them to office.
There’s only one exception to this rule: If the celebrity tries to offer a pseudo-apology, one with no real admission of wrongdoing. When that’s the case, the media and public chew on the story until the celebrity spits out an honest admission of guilt. Only then does life resume for the wronged and the harangued.
Ditto at the office. People have difficulty offering an outright apology—an expression of “I’m concerned because I made a mistake/I did something wrong.” And they get the same kind of reaction as celebrities do to their pseudo-apologies.
Recognize any of these non-apologies?
Denial
“No, I didn’t email the meeting agenda to everyone ahead of time. I apologize—I didn’t know I was supposed to do that.”
Translation: “I’m not at fault here. Whoever was in charge of telling me to do that messed up—not me.”
Good Intentions
“I’ve been putting out fires all morning ever since I came in at 6:30, but I won’t bore you with the details. So I apologize that I didn’t email the meeting agenda to everyone ahead of time.”
Translation: “Give me credit for good intentions. Besides that, I’m busier than most of you.”
Excuse
“I apologize for not emailing the meeting agenda to everyone ahead of time. It’s just been my experience that nobody ever looks at them ahead of time anyway.”
Translation: “There’s no need to apologize.”
Sympathy
“I apologize for not emailing the meeting agenda to everyone. I told several of you about how my weekends have been going, so I hope you understand.”
Translation: “Cut me some slack. I have personal problems.
Attack
“Well, I apologize for not emailing the meeting agenda to everyone ahead of time. Bill, Jean—did you have something you were particularly interested in having on there? Was there something you’re not prepared to discuss because you didn’t see this ahead of time? If so, we can postpone the meeting and reconvene tomorrow when you’re more prepared.”
Translation: “You are making a big deal out of nothing. Why are you trying to embarrass me? I can make you feel very small for bringing this up. So just leave me alone.”
So What Makes a Good Apology?
Admission of error, guilt, or wrongdoing: Accept responsibility for what was said or done and its inappropriateness, inaccuracy, weakness, hurtfulness, insensitivity, or whatever.
Specificity: Global, blanket apologies sound insincere. Express concern for the damage or hurt you caused and your understanding of the situation.
Amends: Attempt to make things right with some word or gesture of goodwill toward the offended person or group.
Apologies don’t always end in engagements or reality TV shows—but they can mend a relationship or save a sale.
While working at home recently, my internet connection went down. During the call to tech support to check out whether it was a coaxial cable problem or a router issue (how’s that for tech talk?), the technician asked me, “Can you tell me how many green lights are blinking on the router?”
That I could do: “Four.”
“Awesome,” he said. “Can you tell me which ones?”
“The first one. The third one. The fifth one. And the sixth one.”
“Fantastic!” he said. “Okay. Can you tell me how many cables are coming out of the back, and is it plugged in?”
“Three. The black power cord. Another short black cable labeled the coaxial cable. And a white cable.”
“Awesome! Now we’re rolling.”
At this point, with such accolades for my acute observations and reporting, I felt ready to do brain surgery.
Obviously, I’m not the only one who has become amused by the growing use of hyperbole. A reader wrote me recently:
Hello, Dianna,
Thank you very much for your powerful essay on communication in Leadership Excellence. My students and I are benefitting from it tremendously. Your counsel is spot on.
May I suggest an eleventh C? Be cool, calm, and collected. Not that we should purge our passions and become inhuman icebergs, but we need to watch out for exaggeration that undermines the legitimacy of our message. Too many of today’s rising generation live in a world of hyperbole that hinders our understanding of what they have to offer.
Perhaps you covered that in “Be Credible,” but it may bear a bit of further amplification.
All the best,
Gordon F. Holbein, Ph.D. Senior Lecturer Strategy & Leadership The University of Kentucky
Now it’s Dr. Holbein who’s spot on. Even positive, upbeat language can ring hollow when exaggerated for the situation.
When I’m ninety four and can still troubleshoot my own internet connection problems, I may appreciate an “awesome” at counting four green blinking lights. But not just yet.
In a recent poll, we asked 232 webcast participants the following question:
“To what degree do you think your executives value social media for making business decisions?”
Here are the results:
As you can see, only 28% of the respondants saw evidence that their executives considered social media either extremely valuable or valuable in making business decisions. Even if executives see the how, few see the why of this powerful medium.
No matter where your organization falls, there’s no denying the popularity of social media. Facebook alone has almost 500 million users. In fact, if it were a country, Facebook would be the fourth largest in the world. And YouTube has become the second largest search engine with its 100 million videos.
We’d like to hear from you. How does your organization use social media for making business decisions?
President Obama and General Stanley McChrystal’s meeting of the minds today will affect the security of our nation and the world. During the past two days while the general traveled back for his meeting at the Oval Office, the pundits debated the pros and cons of whether the general should resign or stay put.
But I couldn’t help but focus on one thing: We’re between the proverbial rock and hard place all because of words: McChrystal and his aides failed to consider them carefully.
What did they say? Who did they say it to? Why? And to what end?
McChrystal’s not singing a solo. Should I start with a laundry list of leaders who’ve had a lapse of the lips recently?
There was the Chairman of BP referring to the victims of the oil spill as “the small people.” And Tony Hayward, CEO of BP, publically bemoaned the fact that he “wanted his life back,” having had the crisis intrude on his time.
There was Vice President Biden and his comment to the President on the day he signed the healthcare bill into law. “This is a f—ing big deal,” right into the open microphone.
Then there was former governor Rod Blagojevich blowing off steam with these recorded comments that helped get him impeached for trying to sell the vacated senate seat in Illinois: “I’ve got this thing, and it’s [expletive] golden. And I’m just not giving it up for [expletive] nothing. I’m not going to do it. And I can always use it….”
Earlier, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford took off to Argentina to see his mistress without letting anyone know of his whereabouts for several days. First, there was the lie that he was “hiking in the Ozarks.” Then when he returned, he persisted in the attitude of “no big deal.” Then it was the nonsensical, rambling apology.
Being a communication specialist, when I hear of such gaffes, I always scratch my head and wonder, “WHAT were they thinking?” Most follow up with apologies or “clarifications,” of course, but those efforts rarely minimize the damage.
I routinely work with executives who would never say or do such odd, stupid, or inappropriate things. What happens to the few to trigger such lapses of either judgment or character? As an executive coach, researcher, and author of more than 22 books on communication, I’ll give you my best guesses:
They forget that there’s no such thing as “off the record.”
They let down their guard when they feel comfortable around a trusted insider—or a gang of them.
Maintaining a “public” persona and a private one becomes increasingly difficult. Attitude, feelings, and character eventually burst through.
They find it difficult, if not impossible, to fake body language. When the words and the body language contradict, listeners believe the body language and pounce and probe until they see blood.
So where do we go from here? As important as Afghanistan remains to our security, it’s only the current crisis. Communication gaffes will continue to handicap those leaders who do not understand the import of their every word and action.
Communication makes leadership possible—or impossible, as the case may be.
Maybe I should have come up with a different title, but “grading” seemed to be the appropriate word tonight. The president sounded professorial, as if lecturing to high-schoolers about how the administration knew all along about the misfits who hacked into the school computers, stole the social security numbers, changed all the grades, and defaced the cafeteria walls. He had things totally under control and “they would pay.”
Some of the “students” may be skeptical; others, just angry. Here’s why:
Speech Content
The audience’s primary interest in his speech tonight was, “What are you going to do to stop the oil leak?” The president spent precious little time on that issue. More than two-thirds of the speech focused on his vision for energy policy in the future.
He sounded tough, using metaphors of war: “before this siege is done,” “the Gulf is under siege,” “waging war.” But specific actions—other than personnel changes—were missing.
He talked tough about BP: “I will inform BP tomorrow they will pay.” And “I’ll inform BP to set aside a damages fund run by a third party.” Okay, but aren’t they already paying? What are the specifics? How much goes into the fund? Are you going to force BP into bankrupcy? Then what?
Speech Delivery
The passionate and inspiring speech delivery of his candidancy did not surface tonight. The first third of the speech recounted the facts of the current situation, and he delivered them like a reporter—with very little emotion. Don’t get me wrong: The scriptwriters had inserted passionate phrases; they were just delivered with the passion of an professor talking about obnoxious school boys who needed to be suspended for a few days to learn their lesson.
His words were sympathetic to the people of the Gulf: ”An entire way of life threatened by the crude oil.” A true statement—but delivered with no connection.
His delivery did get passionate and powerful when he got to the policy issues of energy legislation he wants to get through Congress.
His words were concrete, crisp, and controlled. On that, he scored 100.
To sum up: We’ll have to wait and see how many students sign up for class next semester.
#9 Take his car for a spin–then wash it and fill it with gas while you’re gone in memory of all the times he’s done the same for you.
#8 Buy him tickets to see his favorite team play.
#7 Spend an entire day with him, enjoying HIS favorite hobby.
#6 Show him something that he gave you when you were a child, and tell him why you’ve kept it all these years.
#5 Ask him to tell you again what it was like back when…(whatever old stories that he enjoys retelling to anyone who will listen.) Then listen. Ask questions. Record them “for the grandkids or great grandkids.”
#4 Ask him to teach you how to do something–build a bird house, fish, write html code, play guitar, negotiate a business deal.
#3 Tell him three positive things you learned from him that have made you the person you are today.
#2
Tell him the trait, skill, or attitude you most admire in him.
#1 Hug him, and say “I love you.” Even those fathers who never learned to say it themselves need to hear it.
There’s a FedEx commercial that just might become a classic. The VIP has a trusted staffer on the phone just before their firm is about to deliver a big presentation to a roomful of customers. The executive’s tone seems to be I’m-trusting-you-on-this-one: “Didn’t you tell me Carl was our best presentation guy?”
The staffer responds, “Yeah, I did. The proposal looks good, right?”
The boss leafs through the colorful booklet in front of him.
The voice on the phone continues, “Wait. You didn’t actually bring Carl with you, did you?”
The camera pans to mismatched, robotic Carl, who stands to his feet to deliver the firm’s message, “Good morning. . . . (long pause) But I digress.”
If that last line gets any response at all, the audience is probably laughing at the presenter, not with him or her. And if there’s no response at all, it’s an awkward moment all around.
Why does humor seldom work as an opening? Laughter is a gift from your audience. If they don’t know you yet, they’re not sure they like you well enough to respond. A funny line as an opener may get only a brief smile, whereas the same line used five minutes into the presentation after the audience decides you’re a nice person may elicit a hearty chuckle.
A second reason you don’t want to use humor to begin a presentation is your own confidence. If for some reason the humor doesn’t work, the lackluster audience response can destroy your confidence. It feels like lighting and tossing a firecracker that doesn’t go off.
By no means am I discouraging humor. In fact, there’s an old line that professional speakers use in response to the question, “Should I use humor in my presentations?” Only if you want to get paid.
Humor helps almost any audience digest a message. But both timing and type prove crucial to success. Let’s talk type first:
Types of Humorous Openings
Generally, the humor that works best comes from personal experiences—the oddities, ironies, frustrations, and weird things that happen every week. And as a rule, the more personal the situation or emotion, the more universal its appeal.
A close second is a witty off-the-cuff remark responding to a current situation. A funny comment about a question you get from the audience, the food served at the break, the traffic jam on the elevators on the way to the session, the table that collapses on stage.
The least effective humor is a joke. Jokes typically sound canned and stale. There are very few jokes someone in your audience hasn’t heard before.
Timing of Humorous Openings
Tickling the group’s funny bone in your first sentence or two is tough. Likewise, a cool drink of ice water tastes good—unless it’s forced down your throat. A little sip at first tempts and prepares the audience to take bigger gulps. Let the group get to know and like you before launching into your best story.
Recovery After Failed Humor
And what happens if you use a humorous opening and rather than a chuckle you’re greeted with a blank stare? Act as if you meant the point to be serious. Master your body language to pull this off. Don’t be caught wearing an amused smile that turns to a chagrined deer-in-the-headlights stare that says, “What’s the matter with you people!” Pause. Change spots in the room and continue with the “serious” point of your story.
You did have a point, right? Otherwise, why would you be using that bit of humor?
In case you missed it, here’s the FedEx commercial:
Evidently, they have. They’re hiding somewhere, because you can’t find them in sentences or signs anymore. It’s as if half the population has decided that they’re too time-consuming to write so they’ve dropped them—as if their omission is just another shortcut like the ubiquitous “w/” for “with” or “b/c” for “because.”
But maybe I’m jumping to the wrong conclusion in assuming the issue is time. Could it be that some have forgotten hyphenation rules?
Hyphenate two related adjectives when they precede a noun.
Example: He conducted a two-hour coaching session.
Example: This is a high-stakes bidding war.
Don’t hyphenate the adjectives when they follow a noun.
Example: They claimed the investment was tax exempt.
Example: Their delivery service is first rate.
Exception: If the two adjectives are commonly used together before the noun that follows, you do not need the hyphen. The reader immediately grasps the phrase as a unit.
Example: rental car agency Example: income tax forms Example: high school students
Should you care? Only if you intend to be clear. Case in point: Let’s say you walk into a public building and a sign says, “No smoking area available.” Does that mean there is or there is not an area for smoking?” Two different people reading the sign might interpret it two different ways:
“No smoking area available”
Interpretation: No one can smoke here at all. It’s a smoke-free environment.
“No-smoking area available”
People are permitted to smoke here. If you want to get out of the smoke, you can go to the designated “no-smoking” area that’s available (i.e., no-smoking floors in hotels).
Get those hyphens out of hiding and use them. Clarity often depends on it. And when clarity is not the case, proper use just puts you at the head of the class.
